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Band 3.5

Teenagers should not be allowed to use mobile phones in schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #phones #schools
It is argued that the
use
 of mobile phones by adolescents in schools should be prohibited.
This
 essay agrees with
this
 statement because they
use
 of mobile phone is a source of distraction to students during classes and
also
 creates unnecessary competition
amongs
in division, with shares to each
amongst
among
 these children in the
school
. These reasons given will
further
 be discussed in the following paragraphs. When lectures are
on going
currently happening
ongoing
,
Accept space
,
the
use
 of mobile phones by students diverts the attention of the students. They may have to answer calls, reply text messages and surf the internet. All
this
 may happen at the peak of an
intresting
arousing or holding the attention
interesting
 discussion. A recent study found out that 90% of children who go to
school
 with mobile phones easily lose concentration during lectures. There is an unhealthy rivalry
amongs
Suggestion
between
among
amongst
 children who go to
school
 with mobile phones. These youngsters are subjected to peer pressure to
use
 the latest gadgets and parents are compelled to keep spending money to upgrade their
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 gadgets. A recent survey
have shown
Suggestion
has shown
showed
shows
 that a number of children who
use
 the latest gadgets do
this
 to keep up with their mates in
school
 and not necessarily because of they have an urgent need for a new one. In conclusion, I agree that children should be restricted from taking their mobile phones to
school
 because it makes them lose concentration while classes are on and it
also
 increases their strife to have the newest gadgets to show off
amongs
in division, with shares to each
amongst
among
 their peers.
Submitted by How on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Focus
  • Academic performance
  • Distractions
  • Social media
  • Social interaction
  • Cheating
  • Mental health
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Safety
  • Cyberbullying
  • Inappropriate content
  • Equal opportunities
  • Learning environment
  • Technology access
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