IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #aim #university #education #graduates #jobs #individuals #society
Although
 it is sometimes thought that higher education ought to support former students in receiving a position in a company, others believe that merits which university offers is much more prevalent. In my opinion, I consider that efficiency of an educational system should correlate with an opportunity to get a desirable job. On the one hand, some people believe that universities should guarantee employment for its graduates since the vast majority of students obtain a degree in order to get a job.
In other words
, being in
educational process
Suggestion
the educational process
 is just a path to receive required knowledge which will be on demand within a
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
 market. To illustrate, A-marked students who sacrifice everything to produce superior results do that because they want to have a variety of options when it comes to choose a company.
Furthermore
, hosting career day events can be helpful for future employees, because they can familiarize with companies’ requirements. Admittedly, there are numerous perks when it comes to define value of other aspects of educational curriculum. Universities tend to offer a broad range of extra disciplines which students may find worth attending. In that matter, more and more pupils are able to apply for
musician
Suggestion
musicianship
 classes or any other, which can be out of their primary discipline. If educational institutes,
for instance
, had neglected these initiatives, they would have not received sustainable number of attendees.
This
 is important because in some cases people are willing to have a versatile development. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that
university
Suggestion
universities
the university
 should provide
employment commitment
Suggestion
an employment commitment
 by arranging career festivals where students can get familiar with business representatives for
further
 employment.
Submitted by uhahaev-shon on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: