IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Explain some of the ways in which humans are damaging them environment. what can government do to address these problems? what can individual do?

#humans #environment #government #address
Protection of the environment is a collective measure as
such
 everyone has a stake or a part to play either as a
government
 or as an individual.
This
 essay would elucidate how individuals have degraded the biosphere by burning fossils indiscriminately, as well as the role of the person and the
government
 in mitigating the effect.
Firstly
,
human being
Suggestion
the human being
are
Suggestion
is
 the worst enemy of the environment because apart from living on it they
also
 damage it. The most recognize
way man
Suggestion
the way man
 is damaging the world is through
incessant burning
Suggestion
the incessant burning
 of fossils which releases carbon molecules to the
earth
Suggestion
earth's
 crust
as a result
 degrade the atmosphere by depleting the ozone layer. For an instance, the national agency and space management (NASA) predicted that in 100 years time the earth would be inhabitable for human beings to live in if we continue to insult it.
In addition
, with fast urbanization, deforestation has increased dramatically as
such
 the world has suffered from recurrent flood which damages the society more. What can man do
?
Accept space
?
 What can the
government
 do
?
Accept space
?
 For one, the protection of the universe is a general
responsibility
Accept comma addition
responsibility, thus
thus
, if man can reduce the release of fossils to the surrounding by buying new or modernized electric cars as
such
 reducing toxic gases to the atmosphere, it will be insured. Again, if the
government
 can ensure it make policies that criminalize buying of
second
 grade cars or unwarranted cutting down of tress with heavy fines or imprisonments, people will understand the importance of securing the universe in totality. To add up, having
analyzed
examined carefully and methodically; broken down for consideration of constituent parts
analysed
 the urgency in securing the biosphere. I believe we as a
government
 or an individual should take it as a point of duty to ensure that in our niche, we are not contributing to the destruction of the world.
Submitted by Ope on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: