Most of people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences.

#people #punishment #traffic #offences

Nowadays a

traffic

violation is increasing and becomes more dangerous. According to the majority of

population

Suggestion

the population

feel that

traffic crime

Accept comma addition

traffic, crime

should be severely

condemn

Suggestion

condemned

. I agree

this

view partly considering some circumstances.

Firstly

a criminal law classified into infractions,

misdemeanors

a crime less serious than a felony

misdemeanours

misdemeanours'

misdemeanour's

and felonies and in my

opinion every

Accept comma addition

opinion, every

crime must be judged appropriate gravity.

For

example if

Accept comma addition

example, if

person

Suggestion

a person

the person

committed

traffic offence

Suggestion

a traffic offence

and

consequences

Suggestion

the consequences

are minor

mistake

Suggestion

mistaken

mistaking

, and

man

Suggestion

the man

a man

who makes

traffic crime

Accept comma addition

traffic, crime

and

result

Suggestion

the result

is heavy it is unacceptable both punish severely.

Therefore I

Accept comma addition

Therefore, I

agree stricter judge only than criminal who make offence in drunk, under the influence of

drug

Suggestion

drugs

the drug

a drug

Secondly I

Accept comma addition

Secondly, I

feel that there are many other measures solve

this

issue.

For example

the government

should be make

Suggestion

should make

a decision that a driving license exams’ requirements must be more toughened

Accept space

In the school children should study the

traffic

rules and be aware all

traffic

accident consequences. And

finally

A road ought to improve and placed cameras

Accept space

speedometers

Consequently

Accept space

personally I think that the

traffic

violation can be stricter judged consider all circumstances.

Submitted by Ar on Fri Jul 12 2019

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

175 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Most of people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views.

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some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools.