IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Most of people believe that stricter punishment should be given for traffic offences.

#people #punishment #traffic #offences
Nowadays a
traffic
 violation is increasing and becomes more dangerous. According to the majority of
population
Suggestion
the population
 feel that
traffic crime
Accept comma addition
traffic, crime
 should be severely
condemn
Suggestion
condemned
. I agree
this
 view partly considering some circumstances.
Firstly
 a criminal law classified into infractions,
misdemeanors
a crime less serious than a felony
misdemeanours
misdemeanours'
misdemeanour's
 and felonies and in my
opinion every
Accept comma addition
opinion, every
 crime must be judged appropriate gravity.
For
example if
Accept comma addition
example, if
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
 committed
traffic offence
Suggestion
a traffic offence
 and
consequences
Suggestion
the consequences
 are minor
mistake
Suggestion
mistaken
mistaking
, and
man
Suggestion
the man
a man
 who makes
traffic crime
Accept comma addition
traffic, crime
 and
result
Suggestion
the result
 is heavy it is unacceptable both punish severely.
Therefore I
Accept comma addition
Therefore, I
 agree stricter judge only than criminal who make offence in drunk, under the influence of
drug
Suggestion
drugs
the drug
a drug
.
Secondly I
Accept comma addition
Secondly, I
 feel that there are many other measures solve
this
 issue.
For example
 the government
should be make
Suggestion
should make
 a decision that a driving license exams’ requirements must be more toughened
.
Accept space
.
 In the school children should study the
traffic
 rules and be aware all
traffic
 accident consequences. And
finally
 A road ought to improve and placed cameras
,
Accept space
,
 speedometers
Consequently
,
Accept space
,
 personally I think that the
traffic
 violation can be stricter judged consider all circumstances.
Submitted by Ar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: