The idea of having a single career is becoming an old fashioned one. The new fashion will be to have several careers or ways of earning money and further education will be something that continues throughout life.

The greatest people who
achieved
Wrong verb form
achieve
show examples
more have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
common
characteristics
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristic
show examples
and it'
s
Correct your spelling
's
their perseverance towards their goal. They set an aim and walk towards it despite the hardship. But in current
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
, people tend to evolve. They
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
more than
one
career
to reach their goal in order to succeed without any doubts. It is
further
assured by their
masters
Change to a genitive case
master's
show examples
degree. Reasons for choosing more than
one
career
are: • To manage the competition • To lift the family's burden • To realize their dream It is smart to pursue more than
one
career
as the world becomes competitive. It made even the inborn talents difficult to set their feet. As the number of graduates
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
gradually,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employment decreases. In order to overcome
this
difficulty, it is wiser to opt for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
higher studies and be a unique
one
in a crowd of undergraduates. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people prefer IT
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
even though they are from other departments. Because of their family situation, they have no other options. After their family status is improved, they
moved
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
on to their core companies to be what they
wished
Wrong verb form
wish
show examples
to be.
While
some of them choose more than
one
career
to realize their dream.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
example is MS Dhoni who
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
ticket
Correct article usage
a ticket
show examples
collector
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
railway
Correct article usage
a railway
show examples
station at first and now he is the best captain of all time in
cricket
Add an article
the cricket
show examples
world.
One
should take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
to realize their dream by picking out more than
one
career
. They should be calculative when to take
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
so that their desire comes true. In
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
world of many opportunities,
one
should grab
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
to reach their goal.
This
essay discussed
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the way of new fashion by picking out more than
one
career
. In my opinion, it is not bad to have more chances. So I concur with the statement.
Submitted by Sneha S.R on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: