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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time
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It is argued that
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 should use their free
time
Use synonyms
 for study purpose or else that could be
waste
Suggestion
a waste
 of
time
Use synonyms
. I disagree with the statement as there are several
possitives
characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.
positives
 involved in getting
childrens
a young person of either sex
children
 exposed to
outside world
Suggestion
the outside world
 in their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 because it could be helpful to them to develop both their
phyiscal
involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit
physical
 growth and
also
Linking Words
 mental.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would like to explain the advantages involved in dedicating their free
time
Use synonyms
 for works like playing with other kids or
making them to read
Suggestion
making them read
 books, planting, or painting e.t.c.
For example
Linking Words
, if parents allow them outside to play with other kids that will benefit them in learning how to interact with different kind of people with different mentalities thereby they will develop
behavioral
of or relating to behavior
behavioural
 qualities like how to be part of the society as well as it will help them in
future
Suggestion
the future
 like if they move to other places for their studies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, I think by reading books like comics or any autobiographies e.t.
c
Suggestion
C
 we can nurture their mindset to think creatively because as we are seeing in various parts of world kids are
making
engage in
doing
 wonders like discovering instruments or new softwares and in very early age getting placed in topmost industries and earning
money more when
Suggestion
more money when
 compared to
adult
Suggestion
adults
an adult
the adult
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, I want to give an example of a kid in my locality who faced many problems despite of not going out and using all her
time
Use synonyms
 in education, one clear example is as there is no exposure to outside environment she used to depend on others for every work other than studies and
in addition
Linking Words
for
Suggestion
to
 her studies she went to
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 state and there she faced many difficulties in leading
life
Suggestion
a life
. To
conclude I
Accept comma addition
conclude, I
 specifically feel that it is beneficial to help kids in doing any social related works other than studies which will have
positive effect
Suggestion
a positive effect
 on them.
Submitted by ml72589 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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