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Writing Samples
Band 4

Both the poor and the rich find the accessibility into university difficult. Do you agree or disagree?

#accessibility #university
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The number of tertiary educational
institution
Suggestion
institutions
 has been steadily increasing over the past decade, with the burgeoning of the
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
centres
 under the private wing.
This
Linking Words
 has allowed
public
Suggestion
the public
 to have easier access to the university regardless of the financial and social background. It seems as if we have achieved the aim of equal academic opportunity for all, ironically it is not. The poor still
suffers
Suggestion
suffer
 and encounters more difficulties to reach to the tertiary level as
compare
Suggestion
compared
 to the rich ones. The biggest limitation to
this
Linking Words
 issue is limited resources. Families who only capable to meet daily needs will struggle to send their children to school, not to mention any private funded institution which
are known
Suggestion
is known
 for good performance among its students; which will be totally impossible for the poor.
In addition
Linking Words
, many times, children from
such
Linking Words
 background will have a higher tendency to be involved in juvenile activities as no proper guidance neither
from
Suggestion
of
 the busy parents trying to make a living nor the school as many teachers in
such
Linking Words
 area are already fixated with the thought of these children being useless students. Thence, the door leading to higher education system has
shuts
Suggestion
shut
 down very much earlier, giving them no option but to become
dropout
Suggestion
dropouts
a dropout
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the poor will have to compete fiercely with others from the whole
nation
Suggestion
nation's
 population to be able to enter into
such
Linking Words
 system. They must excel academically and get scholarship if they are incapable of paying
the large
Suggestion
the largest
 amount of schooling fee. They have to struggle more in order to be able to be recognized as an undergraduate. On the opposite side, the rich will never face any of those problems due to strong financial support. Private tutors are available for teaching if the performance is poor; parents spend more time guiding and encouraging their children to study. Not only that, the rich
counterpart
Accept comma addition
counterpart, also
also
Linking Words
 enjoys an influential social background, as many academicians themselves are
also
Linking Words
 within the same level. These people enjoy the benefit of
favoritism
an inclination to favor some person or group
favouritism
 as many are connected as family friends, which we all known being a hidden rule despite the so-called meritocracy system for entering into institutions. In conclusion, the poor faces many
challenges to reach to
Suggestion
challenges to reach
 the varsity in term of finance, support, and social constraints.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is not right to say both have the similar problem
to
Suggestion
with
 access to tertiary education.
Submitted by wenyichian on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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