The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The increasing number of obese people
are
Suggestion
is
an alarming sign in
this
Linking Words
contemporary era.
many
Suggestion
Many
opine that, physical
education
Use synonyms
lessons should be part of school curriculum to
com bat
an engagement fought between two military forces
combat
health related issues caused by overweight population. In my opinion, physical
education
Use synonyms
lessons should be taught at academic level. Owing to increase consumption of unhealthy foods number of obese people are increasing. To overcome
detoriating
become worse or disintegrate
deteriorating
health system problems, the importance of physical
education
Use synonyms
must be instill
Suggestion
must instill
at junior level. As children are eager to learn new things and adopt
healthy life style
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyle
healthy lifestyles
.
For instance
Linking Words
, many schools in Pakistan have allocated fix time to create awareness among
youngones
Suggestion
young ones
.
Stastics
Suggestion
Statistics
revealed around seventy five percent of people vigilantly
excercise
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercise
daily to live
healthy life
Suggestion
a healthy life
healthy lives
and follow
this
Linking Words
routine from childhood.
Moreover
Linking Words
, academic activities
begets
Suggestion
awareness in society. Healthy sports
compitions
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competitions
among
pupills
a learner who is enrolled in an educational institution
pupils
motivate them to keep themselves happy. Ultimately,
this
Linking Words
motivation is transferred to family and society, as
parent
Suggestion
parents
a parent
not only
listen
perceive (sound) via the auditory sense
hear
them,
in addition
Linking Words
, they try to create
healthy environment
Suggestion
a healthy environment
for them.
In other words
Linking Words
, In our school sports week used to
held
Suggestion
hold
every year,
studets
a learner who is enrolled in an educational institution
students
were enthusiastic
beacause
for the reason that; on account of
because
of attractive prizes for
winner
Suggestion
winners
the winner
.
THIS
Linking Words
HAS POSITIVE IMPACT ON FAMILLIES AND YOUNG counterparts, as it leads to
adoption
Suggestion
the adoption
of
healthy lifestyle
Suggestion
a healthy lifestyle
. Along with
excercise eating
Accept comma addition
exercise, eating
exercise eating
healthy food was encouraged to stay fit. One clear example is my grandparent motivated me to keep myself healthy for
annual sports week
Suggestion
an annual sports week
the annual sports week
by drinking milk To conclude, In my view, to decrease
burden
Suggestion
the burden
of overweight people on
healthcare system
Suggestion
healthcare systems
the healthcare system
, school curriculum must include physical
education
Use synonyms
classes.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
approach will be necessary in foreseeable future.
Submitted by sumera on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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