It is often said that retirement is the happiest time of a person’s life. How far do you agree with this view?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In many countries, the population is ageing consistently, and
this
presents the older
people
themselves with challenges
as well as
opportunities. It seems to me that
retirement
is not in fact the most contented period of life, and I will explain why in
this
essay.
Firstly
, retired
people
have to contend with the major issue of
health
. No matter how optimistic a person is, and how conscientiously they try to keep fit, their
health
will inevitably decline as they grow older.
This
affects their mobility, their ability to interact with
people
, and their physical comfort when compared to the earlier stages of their life. A second negative factor is the whole question of finance. By
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
we mean that even
people
who have saved or invested carefully during their working lives will find their income in
retirement
reduced considerably,
for example
by relying on savings.
This
results in their leisure options being more restricted than in their younger years, even though they have more time to fill.
This
leads us
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to the final, and perhaps most significant drawback to
retirement
, which is isolation.
This
happens when declining
health
and limited resources make
people
increasingly
cut-off
Correct your spelling
cut off
show examples
, even if they have surviving family members who seek to care for them.
However
much the family (or neighbours and social services) may offer support,
this
lack of contact will lead progressively to a less contented frame of mind. It is true that there are some positives to
retirement
, most notably the time to pursue personal interests and the presence of grandchildren in many cases. Despite
this
, it seems that for many older
people
, these pleasures are outweighed by issues which can cause stress and depression.
To conclude
, the problems of
health
, financial concerns and isolation combine together to make
retirement
a challenging and potentially difficult time for many, especially when compared to the prime period of life.
This
is not to say that all retired
people
suffer in
this
way, but it appears to be the case very frequently.
Submitted by khaldoun198 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: