IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

When families have a meal together it is considered social activity. Do you think eating together is important to people in your country?

#families #activity #people #country
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It is a good thing for a family to come together at the dining table to eat their meals regardless of their busy schedule. Doing
this
Linking Words
 strengthens family
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
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as well as
Linking Words
 sharing daily activities with one another.
For example
Linking Words
, if a member of the family is absent, it becomes obvious to everyone present at the dining table. To eat together as a family is to be considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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one of the first
form
Change to a plural noun
forms
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 of social activity for anyone who is a larger part of any society irrespective of the country in which being
resided
Wrong verb form
reside
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. In my opinion, having a meal together as a family is not an argument
of
Change preposition
about
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 whether it's a thing for the rich or for the poor. Sitting together
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 at dinner
time
Use synonyms
 should be incorporated into the schedule of everyone but more often than not
this
Linking Words
 is not the case. In my country, the busy schedule of most people
coupled with
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 the fact that most people's parents do not get home in
time
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 of the traffic
as well as
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 the bad roads which
slows
Change the verb form
slow
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 down the driving and
due to
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 all these factors, it makes it almost impossible to get home in
time
Use synonyms
 to sit with your loved ones at the dining table to have a decent meal.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would like to contribute to the fact that if there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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less
Add an article
a less
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 stressful
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 to and fro work in my country, it would encourage more people who didn't or have never
taught
Add a missing verb
been taught
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 about spending
time
Use synonyms
 with their loved ones will begin to consider and
nuture
Correct your spelling
nurture
 the idea of eating together as a family.
Submitted by ebony3000us on

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic of eating together as a family, but make sure to fully develop your ideas to demonstrate a clear response to the task.
coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more cohesively. Consider using transition words to connect your ideas and ensure a smoother flow throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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