Nowadays technology Is Increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Technological public monitoring

is increased

Suggestion

has increased

in recent times. In

large number

Suggestion

a large number

of cases, individuals are not informed about

surveillance

Use synonyms

. I believe that drawbacks are more than benefits, which will be discussed in

following essay

Suggestion

the following essay

. Primarily, advantages of the monitoring are helping

security

Use synonyms

and business.

Use synonyms

Security

Suggestion

The security

is significantly improved after

installments

a payment of part of a debt; usually paid at regular intervals

instalments

instruments

instalments'

of public cameras, which can record all the personal movements.

As a result

Linking Words

, various crimes

such

Linking Words

as robberies, homicides and kidnapping are not only easily solved but

also

Linking Words

largely prevented. So, newer techniques are helping

security

Use synonyms

agencies to solve and prevent crimes.

Moreover

Linking Words

, online businesses are greatly benefited by online

surveillance

Use synonyms

For instance

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, retail shops are buying data from various

technological

Suggestion

technology

giant companies and effectively increasing their profits.

Thus

Linking Words

security

Use synonyms

and commerce industries have great advantages.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, people have huge drawbacks in from of privacy breech and influence in shopping because of

unawareness

Suggestion

unaware

of being watched. Privacy is virtually impossible nowadays because of monitoring. People feel annoyed due to undisclosed

surveillance

Use synonyms

, for example, personal space of many celebrities become public without their notice.

In addition

Linking Words

Accept space

almost all kinds of online shopping are hijacked by retailers. If people search particular shopping item once, they got flooded

Suggestion

with

related buying products at all internet sites.

For instance

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, if individuals type search key word “cloths” on internet

Accept space

they will have

bombardment

Suggestion

a bombardment

of related advertisements on every webpage and there are high chances that he or she changes choice.

Thus

Linking Words

public

Suggestion

the public

have significant disadvantages in from of privacy breech and choice influence. In summary, increasing public

surveillance

Use synonyms

is advantageous for commerce and

security

Use synonyms

while greatly disadvantageous for people because it jeopardizes

privacy

Suggestion

the privacy

and influences choices. In my opinion,

benefits

Suggestion

the benefits

are not out weight drawbacks.

advarora9

Jul 18, 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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