IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other sorts of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

To start with, it is undeniable that growing the economy is a useful way to measure achievement. The main reason for
this
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 is that
growth
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 reflects a number of other factors, mainly productivity, which is
also
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 related to technological development. It is not merely an abstract number. A related point is that focusing on
growth
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 brings opportunity
,
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 and optimism to a country.
In other words
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, a larger economy makes it easier to help those less fortunate, as budgets are higher and the better off are less concerned about sharing their wealth.
Finally
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, as a simple number, GDP per capita is relatively easy to measure to focus on.
This
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 means it is easier to compare relative wealth and poverty within a nation, which in turn enables the governments to direct more resources to impoverished areas.
On the other hand
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, there is no doubt that governments should
also
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 take into account other areas. Proponents of
this
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view point
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viewpoint
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 out that there are numerous other aspects of life that can be measured and improved. These range from encouraging positive forms,
such
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 as literacy, education levels, and happiness, to
the
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limiting the negative
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for
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, for
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example
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example,
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 homelessness, suicide, obesity and pollution. It is noteworthy that nearly every international development organisation includes these measures (and many more) when they measure improvement and development. The World Bank and
the
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the International Monetary Fund are cases in point. In conclusion,
while
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 there is no doubt that economic
growth
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 alone is a useful metric, it cannot be denied that other measures of progress should be considered.
Therefore
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, I believe that focusing on
growth
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 alone is insufficient.

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content
The answer covers both views and gives a clear own view. Maintain this balance in all tasks.
coherence
Add more direct links between each idea. Use clear signposts and keep topic sentences for each paragraph.
language
Fix small errors in grammar and word choice to avoid confusion (e.g., 'the the', 'view point' -> 'viewpoint').
content
Give more specific examples of other progress measures (like health, education, happiness) with simple facts or statements.
conclusion
Strengthen the conclusion by stating a firm overall stance and a brief reason.
structure
Clear structure with an introduction, two main ideas, and a conclusion.
coherence
Good use of linking phrases such as 'On the other hand' and 'In conclusion'.
content
Use of examples like GDP per capita and well-known groups (World Bank/IMF).
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic progress
  • standards of living
  • employment opportunities
  • national security
  • social progress
  • healthcare
  • education
  • social equality
  • social disparity
  • environmental sustainability
  • climate change
  • technological progress
  • cultural progress
  • quality of life
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • social cohesion
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