As a result of electronic inventions people do less physical activity and it has negative effect in their health.What extent do u agree or disagree?

Nowadays people do less physical activity for the discoveries of electronic devices, which has effect negatively on their health.
However
, I believe that the benefits of technology outweigh the drawback. Now, we are living in an age of modern science which gift us more technological
invention
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invention, such
such
as
,
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,
computer
,
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,
smartphone, and so on.
As a
result we
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result, we
can solve our task easily than ever before.
For example
, at present people can monitor their office employees work through
computer
Suggestion
the computer
a computer
.The way of communication is
also
getting easier because people connect with each other with a single click on their phone
,
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,
which helps to save valuable times and money.
In
addition students
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addition, students
do their study over online where they can find most of the valuable lessons and take their class. Which
reduce
Suggestion
reduces
the waste of time and prevent themselves to face the rush
our
a period of time equal to 1/24th of a day
hour
traffic jam.
Therefore
the innovation of electric devices
provide
Suggestion
provides
assistance to us to mitigate our problems and gives a comfortable life. Despite
this
could have harmful impact on our health, because people
are rely
Suggestion
rely
have relied
are relying
too much on electronic accessories.Now children are reluctant to play sports on
field
Suggestion
the field
fields
because of
computer
Suggestion
the computer
, where they play games on the monitor which effect on their brain and lead them an unhealthy life.If they play sports in
playground
Suggestion
the playground
, it can help them to keep fit and made them healthier which is impossible as
consequence
Suggestion
a consequence
of the technological advancement.
For instance
, a survey showed that 80% of the people in today's world relying on electronic device and they are unwilling to do practical work rather that they prefer to do it through
computer
Suggestion
the computer
a computer
. To conclude,
Although
There are some drawbacks of using electrical
device but
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device, but
I believe it's
get
Suggestion
getting
us enormous benefit to maintain a standard life.
Submitted by Numan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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