IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Mothers play key roles in the upbringing of children. But in the recent times both parents are getting busy with professional life. Who in your opinion should take the responsibility of child care now?" Give your opinion in no less than 250 words.

#mothers #roles #upbringing #children #times #parents #life #responsibility #child #care
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There’s no denying how important a
role
Use synonyms
 the
mother
Use synonyms
 plays in the upbringing of her children. But torn by modern economics, mothers are leaving home for professional practice, raising the question “
who
Capitalize word
Who
show examples
 now 1 takes care of the children?” In my belief, though, all efforts to replace the proverbial
mother
Use synonyms
 are destined to be futile. Observing
Nature
Use synonyms
, scientifically or
other wise
Correct your spelling
otherwise
show examples
, tells us that being a
mother
Use synonyms
, if it were a social
role
Use synonyms
, is ideally possible by the
child bearing
Correct your spelling
childbearing
show examples
 female and others may only be nurses or patrons. The physiological and psychological exclusiveness of the
mother
Use synonyms
 means all the other social entities and all the greatness of
science
Use synonyms
 and civilization can only supplement, and never replace, her part in the upbringing of children.
Any one
Correct your spelling
Anyone
show examples
 else trying to don her
role
Use synonyms
 is simply unnatural. But of
course
Add a comma
course,
show examples
 there is
opinion
Correct article usage
an opinion
show examples
in
Change the preposition
on
show examples
 the contrary
also
Linking Words
. Modern
science
Use synonyms
 flaunts its
age old
Add a hyphen
age-old
show examples
 practice of replicating
nature
Use synonyms
 and natural processes. Now more than ever humans and their society are evolving frequently against the tide of
Nature
Use synonyms
, and civilization sustains
this
Linking Words
 evolution.
Such
Linking Words
 evolution has
also
Linking Words
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
 the socio-economic distinction of men and women. Now in the
industry
Add a comma
industry,
show examples
 women are producing as much as men do. So “women are better off in the house” is no longer true.
While
Linking Words
such
Linking Words
 human evolution is true and should morally be supported, going against
Mother
Use synonyms
Nature
Use synonyms
, when we’re clearly not in a position to, is immoral.
Science
Use synonyms
 has not yet found a biological and psycho-social alternative for the natural
mother
Use synonyms
. And
while
Linking Words
 gender equality is great, it never means
fusion
Correct article usage
a fusion
show examples
 of the two poles of our species. I don’t believe
science
Use synonyms
 never has strived to eliminate sex because it is simply impracticable. So men and women, so uniformly productive as they recently are, don’t have to utilize their worth
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same end of civilization. If one person, or sex, is naturally gifted to play a special and vital
role
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society, it is her duty to thrive in it. I
therefore
Linking Words
 conclude that in a child’s
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
 its
mother
Use synonyms
 is irreplaceable, and,
hence
Linking Words
, it is she who should rear her child.
Submitted by Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides. on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: