Some people believe that competitive sports both team and individual have no place in the school curriculum. How much do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sports especially competitive sport
Suggestion
The sports, especially competitive sport
The sports especially competitive sport
has a lot of benefits and good for students.
However
Linking Words
, some people think that competitive sports should be eradicated from the curriculum of the school. In my perspective, I strongly disagree with that idea for the following reasons.
First
Linking Words
, competitive sports help students keep fit and stay healthy. When students play competitive sports not only their body and muscles
are enhanced but
Suggestion
are enhanced, but
also
Linking Words
the calories which they absorbed in foods during the day will be burned.
Besides
Linking Words
, playing competitive sports prevent students from obesity and heart attack.
For example
Linking Words
, competitive sport
such
Linking Words
as basketball, football or volleyball make players move continuously, the fat and calories in the body will be burned more than sitting immovable. Some scientists proved that playing competitive sport reduce potential diseases and lengthen age.
Second
Linking Words
, competitive sports
also
Linking Words
help the student build up a team spirit and bring benefits for students social well-being. When students take part in competitive sports, they have to work with their teams.
This
Linking Words
forces them to make friends, talk with others and cooperate with their team members.
As a result
Linking Words
,
students
Suggestion
students'
teamwork skill
Accept comma addition
teamwork, skill
will be improved and increase their communication.
Moreover
Linking Words
, playing competitive sports is good opportunities for the student to improve their problem-solving skills and decision-making skills. These are highly useful skills for students in future works. In conclusion, for these reasons above, I think that competitive sports should not be removed from the curriculum of school because they bring a lot of benefits
for students physical
Suggestion
for students with physical
and mental health and they
also
Linking Words
contribute to students social well-being.
Submitted by guptaks1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: