Some countries encourage teenagers to have a part-time job and see it as a good thing, while others disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Western culture has shown a new trend of working while studying, which is highly acceptable by the people there;

however

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

does not go down well with the masses in some nations. Earning simultaneously whilst studying is a step towards independence, but

on the other hand

Linking Words

, it could be a burden on the shoulders of adolescents;

however

Linking Words

, I see it

otherwise

Linking Words

. The concept of indulging in corporate

world amidst

Accept comma addition

world, amidst

the study phase is a great initiative as that would give a sense of self-dependence in the youngsters. A feeling of pride sinks in when one

earns

Suggestion

has earned

first

Linking Words

ever salary while not compromising with the academics, and that would ultimately make one believe in oneself.

Hence

Linking Words

, a youngster will get pushed to do something big from the very beginning.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is a learning that one gets before the actual test of life begins. The USA, the UK

are

Suggestion

the leading examples of

such

Linking Words

a remarkable change. Undoubtedly, the aforesaid phenomenon has procured amazing outcomes in the western world;

however

Linking Words

, the belief of the other world could not be left aside. A job could be a baggage for a school or university going children. In today’s competitive era, everyone is in a rat race to prove one’s worth in relation to the grades.

In addition

Linking Words

, wards have to bear the brunt of employers’ expectations. If it is a full-time employment,

then

Linking Words

it would definitely take a toll not only

mentally but

Accept comma addition

mentally, but

physically as well on the poor students. To exemplify, almost hundred cases of suicide are reported, forget about the ones not being acknowledged; most of it, is due to

intolerable demand

Suggestion

the intolerable demand

of the studies or the work places. So,

natives

Suggestion

the natives

having

such

Linking Words

disbelief is not at all regressive or wrong on their part. After gauging both, I hold the perspective that challenges

halp

give help or assistance; be of service

help

helps

an individual to evolve and make a mark on their own and if life prepares for a real examination for future betterment,

then

Linking Words

just go ahead, prove your mettle, and emerge as a winner.

That is

Linking Words

what exactly goes with the notion of part0time work

Suggestion

with

respect to

tutees

a written agreement between two states or sovereigns

treaties

Submitted by surfingwaves34 on Wed Jul 24 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

352 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Children who are brought up in a family that does not have a lot of money are better prepared to deal with problems when they become adults than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do agree or disagree with the statement.
Several schools of thought have a strong conviction that youngsters who belong to middle-class families can better cope with daily challenges later in life when they become mature in comparison to children who belong to financially well-to-do families. I concur with this statement for several reasons.
5
band
Differences between countries are barely evident these days . Everyone in the world is wearing the same brands and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Recently, there is no difference between human beings wearing the same kinds of clothes and consuming the same information on TV and social media. In this essay, I will decide whether it is positive or negative. Firstly, I will discuss how it affects the way the general public lives and secondly, I will write about how it is important to stay individual these days.
6.5
band
Employers should give their staff at least four weeks of holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The standard office schedule typically spans 8 hours a day, from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m., across 5 consecutive days, leading to widespread employee fatigue. To combat this, there's a proposal recommending that employers grant at least four weeks of annual leave to enhance workplace performance. This essay supports the proposal that offering at least four weeks of annual leave could significantly boost work outcomes.
7.5
band
Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
The vast majority of people nowadays are exploring new options that relate to their health concerns. Various options are being explored by people to tackle their health issues which they experiment on themselves using herbal treatments, food extractions and generally alternative medicine. Although everything has its advantages and disadvantages, this article explores why I am inclined to agree that this worrying trend needs to be analysed thoroughly.
5.5
band
numbers of arrests per year for using illegal drugs in uk
the provided line graph gives information about the annual evidence for people who were arrested for handling drugs illegally in the UK, over the course of 15 years, from 1991 to 2005.

Some countries encourage teenagers to have a part-time job and see it as a good thing, while others disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Children who are brought up in a family that does not have a lot of money are better prepared to deal with problems when they become adults than children who are brought up by wealthy parents. Do agree or disagree with the statement.

Differences between countries are barely evident these days . Everyone in the world is wearing the same brands and watching the same TV channels and movies. Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks of holiday a year to help employees get better at their jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

numbers of arrests per year for using illegal drugs in uk