IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the Olympics games do have a role in the 21st century Do you agree or disagree?

#people #olympics #games #role #st #century
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Sports have played a major role in building bonds between two nations. I believe that
Olympic games
Suggestion
the Olympic games
 are truly important in the 21st
century
Use synonyms
 in order to keep aside enmity and motivate the youth to stay positive. The present
century
Use synonyms
 is going through massive turmoil. Various nations
such
Linking Words
 as the United States, China, Russia, Iran, and North Korea are engaged in a cold conflict which may flare into a global war any time. The only way to reduce global tensions is through
Olympic games
Suggestion
the Olympic games
. These games not only provide a platform for all countries to come closer through their
sportspersons
Suggestion
 but
also
Linking Words
 are an excellent place for leaders of different countries to meet each other.
For instance
Linking Words
, the recent winter Olympics
was used
Suggestion
were used
 by President Donald Trump and Leader of North Korea to meet and diffuse the tense situation in the Korean Peninsula. Without these games,
this
Linking Words
 would have been impossible.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the Olympics are an excellent way to keep the youth motivated in the 21st
century
Use synonyms
. The youngsters today are in the grips of depression and anxiety, and they often consume drugs and alcohol as a remedy.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are not able to channelize their energy in the right direction. Olympic games provide an excellent outlet. When youngsters prepare for state and national level games with the aim of going to
Olympics
Suggestion
the Olympics
 some day, they use their energy for a constructive purpose.
This
Linking Words
 often leads to abandoning the path of drugs and kills depression and anxiety. In conclusion, the Olympic games are a necessity in the 21st
century
Use synonyms
. They are instrumental in maintaining global peace and keeping the youth positive in life.
Submitted by Dhara Modi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: