Every year large number Of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons discussed the advantages and disadvantages Of migration for the individual and for society as a whole

#year #people #country #migration #society

There are various reasons that huge quantity Of individuals move from one nation to another annually. It has some merits and demerits for a

person

and on a community as whole. In

this

essay, I will be discussing both.

To begin

with, when a

person

migrate

Suggestion

migrates

from a

devoloping

relating to societies in which capital needed to industrialize is in short supply

developing

country

to developed

country it

Accept comma addition

country, it

is very beneficial for him because he had

better job opportunity

Suggestion

a better job opportunity

which helps them to live

better life

Suggestion

a better life

better lives

Moreover

, it

also

helps society in economic growth

for

example if

Accept comma addition

example, if

person

is working he pays Tax to government which help to increase

states

Suggestion

state

fund.

In addition

Accept space

some people

believes

Suggestion

believe

that their children will have that better future in the developed

country

such

as modern lifestyle and good quality of studies. On the other sides, there are some cons for an individual and society as

well

Accept comma addition

well, such

such

as when a

person

moves to a new nation it’s very hard for him to settle down.

Besides

that migration

also

decreases the economic growth of the

country

from where one

person

moves which created world inequality. On the top of

that some

Accept comma addition

that, some

people start doing illegal activities to survive in

new community

Suggestion

a new community

the new community

For example

- drug dealing, working

illegal

Suggestion

illegally

without work permits. Recently, in Canada a student got deported for

act

Suggestion

acts

against the law as he was working more than 20 hours per week as an international student. In

conclusion I

Accept comma addition

conclusion, I

pendown

Suggestion

pen down

saying that migration has its pros and cons side by side.

Although

every year, there is

increase

Suggestion

an increase

in amount of peeps migrating to other nations.

Submitted by kulveerdhillon95 on Thu Jul 25 2019

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

259 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Every year large number Of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons discussed the advantages and disadvantages Of migration for the individual and for society as a whole

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

WRITING TASK 2: Some people think that parent should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

nfluence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio diversity? What solution can you suggest?

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them. Why is this? What is an effective way to improve people's healthy eating habits?