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Band 1

The government should allocate more fund to the educational sector than health sector. At what extend do you agree other disagree.

#government #fund #sector #health
Allocating
fund
Suggestion
funds
 on various public sector generally creates controversy. Some argue that higher priority be given to
health sector
Suggestion
the health sector
,
Accept space
,
whereas others consider it must be
education
Suggestion
educated
.In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
nevertheless
,
Accept space
,
I consider investing a larger proportion to
education
 and
it's
of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"
its
 related area would benefit than
health
 sector as educated society would automatically improve their
health
 status by knowledge.
Firstly
, spending money on
education
 would bring encourage more and more people to start learning including from economically
deprivide
marked by deprivation especially of the necessities of life or healthful environmental influences
deprived
 section.
This
gradually improve
Suggestion
gradually improves
 standard of
health
conditions
Accept comma addition
conditions, hence
hence
 literates society know how to handle
situation
Suggestion
the situation
situations
a situation
 in a better manner. To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
a recent research has conducted to understand the relationship between
education
 and
health
.
This
 shows that children of educated mother had less communicable diseases compared to
illitrate
not able to read or write
illiterate
illustrate
 mother;
therefore
,
Accept space
,
it is evident that
education
 required more investment. Another point is to consider is that
education
 bring about better job
Submitted by Sal on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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