IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

People cart eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #cart #variety #food #areas #regions #trend
Nowadays, There are
wide variety
Suggestion
a wide variety
 of options of consuming foods planted in
diffirent
unlike in nature or quality or form or degree
different
 areas, resulting increased number of
usage
Suggestion
usages
 of
foriegn
of concern to or concerning the affairs of other nations (other than your own)
foreign
 dishes than local cuisine. I will consider both sides of
pros
Suggestion
the pros
 and cons of
this
trend
 followed by reasonable conclusion including my own point of view.
First
 of all, eating imported
food
 can be
great opportunity
Suggestion
a great opportunity
 to understand the culture of
abroad
Suggestion
a broad
 nation is one of its benefits.
Therefore
, those who do not have enough budget to
vizit
go to see a place, as for entertainment
visit
 the area that are willing to can take it as a hint for their future
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
.
Furthermore
, some of the
food
 plants used for medicine can be found in only the specific area.
Therefore
, especially those who are suffering from disease
are take
Suggestion
are taking
 enormous
advantagous
the quality of having a superior or more favorable position
advantages
from
Suggestion
of
 imported medicine.
Besides
, consuming similar
food
 is making us
more easy
Suggestion
easier
 to pace up with the changing world.
Secondly
, declines of traditional cuisine's production
is
Suggestion
are
 one of its drawbacks.
As a result
 of
this
trend
, the indication of nations can be
detoriarated
become worse or disintegrate
deteriorated
 since
food
the supernatural being conceived as the perfect and omnipotent and omniscient originator and ruler of the universe; the object of worship in monotheistic religions
God
 is the one of significant factors of the every culture.
Moreover
, increased availability of
food
 involving junk
food
, sugary drinks is presenting side effects on human health
such
 as obesity, overweight and
diabites
a polygenic disease characterized by abnormally high glucose levels in the blood; any of several metabolic disorders marked by excessive urination and persistent thirst
diabetes
. Considering the
last
 evidence from WHO, the number of adolescents who are obese are
continiously
at every point
continuously
continually
 increasing result of the worldwide
trend
 of unhealthy
food
 consumption.
Besides
, the quality of production can be decreased during the way of transportation. To sum up,
Although
, it is difficult to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of current
trend
, I personally believe that the drawbacks are outnumbering the benefits since
side effect
Suggestion
a side effect
the side effect
of
Suggestion
on
 human health is getting higher with regards to
this
 change.
Submitted by uugiiuugi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • dietary diversity
  • nutritional intake
  • economic benefits
  • cultural exchange
  • food miles
  • carbon emissions
  • local economy
  • food security
  • globalization
  • sustainability
  • supply chain
  • produce
  • importing/exporting
  • agricultural practices
  • cuisine
What to do next:
Look at other essays: