IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries.

The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries.
#show #distribution #world #water #three #countries
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The pie chart illustrates the proportion of global
water
Use synonyms
 and the bar graph gives information about
water
Use synonyms
 use in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is very clear that in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
show examples
 chart, salt
water
Use synonyms
 built up
major
Add an article
a major
the major
show examples
 part of the global
water
Use synonyms
. At the same time, a minor part is only left for use. In the bar graph,
water
Use synonyms
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in Agriculture
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a significant proportion
whereas
Linking Words
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 amount of
water
Use synonyms
 is used for
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
. When it comes to Global
water
Use synonyms
, salt
water
Use synonyms
 makes up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
97%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Fresh
Correct your spelling
Freshwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is accounted for just a minor proportion
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 only 3%. By digging into fresh
water
Use synonyms
 which
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of only 3%, ice and glacier
covers
Change the verb form
cover
show examples
 around 79%. Total
Ground
Correct your spelling
Groundwater
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water
Use synonyms
consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
 of 20% and just about 1% makes up
surface level
Add a hyphen
surface-level
show examples
water
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
water
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 used in agriculture in Egypt is 80% and in Saudi Arabia slightly below 80%.
However
Linking Words
, in
Canada
Add a comma
,Canada
show examples
 only 10% is used for agriculture. Industrial usage of
water
Use synonyms
 is higher in Canada about 80%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, just below 10% is used in Egypt and
exact
Change the word
exactly
show examples
 10% in Saudi Arabia. Nearly Domestic use of
water
Use synonyms
 is around 10% in these three countries
Submitted by jerseynani3 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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