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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries.

The charts below show the distribution of the world's water and the use of water in three countries.
#show #distribution #world #water #three #countries
The pie chart illustrates the proportion of global
water
 and the bar graph gives information about
water
 use in Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Canada.
Overall
, it is very clear that in
pie
Add an article
a pie
the pie
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 chart, salt
water
 built up
major
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a major
the major
show examples
 part of the global
water
. At the same time, a minor part is only left for use. In the bar graph,
water
used
Add a missing verb
is used
show examples
 in Agriculture
in
Correct your spelling
is
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 a significant proportion
whereas
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 amount of
water
 is used for
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
. When it comes to Global
water
, salt
water
 makes up
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
97%.
In contrast
,
Fresh
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Freshwater
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water
 is accounted for just a minor proportion
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 only 3%. By digging into fresh
water
 which
consist
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consists
show examples
 of only 3%, ice and glacier
covers
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cover
show examples
 around 79%. Total
Ground
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Groundwater
show examples
water
consist
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consists
show examples
 of 20% and just about 1% makes up
surface level
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surface-level
show examples
water
.
Furthermore
,
water
 used in agriculture in Egypt is 80% and in Saudi Arabia slightly below 80%.
However
, in
Canada
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,Canada
show examples
 only 10% is used for agriculture. Industrial usage of
water
 is higher in Canada about 80%.
In contrast
, just below 10% is used in Egypt and
exact
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exactly
show examples
 10% in Saudi Arabia. Nearly Domestic use of
water
 is around 10% in these three countries
Submitted by jerseynani3 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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