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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?

#people #cities #face #life #governments #move #towns
Modern world today
,
Accept space
,
many people opt to live in cities as it provides better living standards.
However
,
Accept space
,
this
 is not the case always
,
Accept space
,
lack of housing and air pollution are crucial in cities.
This
 can be effectively tackled by encouraging them to move rural
area
 in order to
decongest
 the
city
.
City
 dwellers confront
problem
Suggestion
the problem
 of housing since the
city
 may not be able to
accommodates
Suggestion
accommodate
entire population
Suggestion
the entire population
 which migrate to
there
objective case of they
them
their
.
In other words
, in
cities families
Suggestion
cities, families
city families
city city families
 live in a highly combat houses without proper ventilation or sanitary facilities which eventually result in various health issues
to
Suggestion
with
 them.To illustrate, diseases
such
 as
joundice
yellowing of the skin and the whites of the eyes caused by an accumulation of bile pigment (bilirubin) in the blood; can be a symptom of gallstones or liver infection or anemia
jaundice
 and
diarrhea
frequent and watery bowel movements; can be a symptom of infection or food poisoning or colitis or a gastrointestinal tumor
diarrhoea
 are quite common among
city
 dwellers as they live in a
unhygienic
 conditions.
Moroever
in addition
Moreover
,
Accept space
,
many old houses are in a
dilapated
in deplorable condition
dilapidated
 state
,
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,
accidents,
therefore
,
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,
are
common occuring
Accept comma addition
common, occurring
common occurring
 over there
;
Accept space
;
for example
,
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,
fire breakouts and building collapses which kills thousands daily. Another
issueof
Suggestion
issue of
city
Suggestion
the city
 is the pollution.The more people produce more waste and
this
 waste hardly discarded properly
instead
 it pilled up in open
land fills
a low area that has been filled in
landfills
.
Accept space
.
For example
,
Accept space
,
poor air quality is due to the increase number of
automabole
a motor vehicle with four wheels; usually propelled by an internal combustion engine
automobile
automobiles
 bikers and cars which result in
smok
a cloud of fine particles suspended in a gas
smoke
smog
 that causes deadly diseases.
This
 situation,
however
,
Accept space
,
is managed carefully if the government
take
Suggestion
takes
 initiative to relocate the
city
 dwellers properly into
small town
Suggestion
a small town
small towns
 that are less crowded.Certainly
,
Accept space
,
this
 is not
a
Suggestion
an
 easy task but
,
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,
achievable
Suggestion
an achievement
achievement
achievements
 for which,
firstly
, the government has to set
realistic goal
Suggestion
realistic goals
a realistic goal
.
Then
,
Accept space
,
build new housing apartments in
new
Suggestion
a new area
area
,
Accept space
,
where small towns are situated
,
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,
the safety must be ensured.Until does get
approvel
the formal act of approving
approval
approvals
approve
 from concerned authority
,
Accept space
,
do not start any construction
,
Accept space
,
 meaning even in the rural
area
 there are some place are
delicates
exquisitely fine and subtle and pleasing; susceptible to injury
delicate
duplicates
delegates
 to have buildings.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
this
 enables to reduce cities problem of overcrowding and housing issues for a great extend. In conclusion, cities are facing problems of improper housing facilities;
neverthele
s
Accept space
,
s,
this
 can be managed by making new strategies to shift the migrants to rural
area
Submitted by Sal on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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