some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make peope happy? What other thing in life can make people happy?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, the reasons for

peoples

Suggestion

people's

happiness is now a topic of discussion. Many opine that the major thing that brings a life long happiness is to be extremely rich. Though with

Use synonyms

money affordability

Accept comma addition

money, affordability

and fame is guaranteed

Accept space

there are other things aside

money

Use synonyms

that can bring about joy.

Firstly

Linking Words

Accept space

the main thing that

money

Use synonyms

gives is self satisfaction. Many are satisfied because they have all their needs and want at their

disposal

Accept comma addition

disposal, thus

thus

Linking Words

leading to high self esteem

Accept space

For example

Linking Words

Accept space

billionaires are able to afford pricey clothes

Accept space

good schools for their children

Accept space

vacation any time they want more so best medical attention. The thought that they can have anything they so desire makes them glad

Accept space

Secondly

Linking Words

Accept space

being wealthy makes people famous

thus

Linking Words

well known people are usually respected in the society

Accept space

For instance

Linking Words

Dangote is famous because he is a multimillionaire. It is

thus

Linking Words

evident that having

money

Use synonyms

is encompassing.

Linking Words

However professional

Accept comma addition

However, professional

achievement is another thing that can

put a smile always

Suggestion

always put a smile

on many peoples

face

Suggestion

faces

Accept space

For

Linking Words

example my

Accept comma addition

example, my

Father is an average income

earner but

Accept comma addition

earner, but

he always tells me he is a happy and fulfilled man because he rose to the pinnacle of his profession

Accept space

Linking Words

Furthermore many

Accept comma addition

Furthermore, many

are

also

Linking Words

glad if they have a good home with children of high

morals even

Accept comma addition

morals, even

if they have little to eat and drink. They believe their kids give a picture of who they are. These I

also

Linking Words

consider as other things that can make people joyful. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

many believe that riches makes people happy because they can afford anything they want more so it guarantees peace of mind and self satisfaction. I think Professional achievement and a good family are other things that can make people truly comfortable and happy in life.

Mon Jul 29 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
You recently attended meeting at a hotel. When you returned home, you found you had left some important papers at the hotel. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter. • Say where you think you left the papers • Explain why they are so important • Tell the manager what you want him/her to do
I am writing to ask for information about lost documents in your hotel.
8
band
Write a letter to a bookstore manager who is living in another city. Ask him/ her to make available a book that you are interested in. In you letter. - What book you are looking for? - Why you need this book. - How you plan to purchase the book.
I am writing this to inform you that I want to purchase a book which is available at your store only.
7
band
Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Education, which plays an important role, students should spend full-time for though they are at least 18 years old. This author agrees with the latter viewpoint that students should concentrate on education so as to contribute to the enhancement of knowledge and the wealth of educational levels in one nation.
6.5
band
A long distance flight consumes more fuel than a car running for several years. Some argue that it would be better to discourage people to have non-essential air travel than to limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is sometimes argued that unnecessary air travel should be banned instead of restricting road transport as vehicles consume more fuel and generate more pollution. I disagree with this statement and the following paragraphs will explain the reasons.
<4
band
The developments in Happy valley shopping center from 1982 to 2012 is represent by maps.
The images illustrate detailed information about how the Happy Valley shopping centre developed in the space of three decades.

some people say that the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make peope happy? What other thing in life can make people happy?

Your opinion

Write a letter to a bookstore manager who is living in another city. Ask him/ her to make available a book that you are interested in. In you letter. - What book you are looking for? - Why you need this book. - How you plan to purchase the book.

Some people say that all people should stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A long distance flight consumes more fuel than a car running for several years. Some argue that it would be better to discourage people to have non-essential air travel than to limit the use of cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The developments in Happy valley shopping center from 1982 to 2012 is represent by maps.