IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and lower the age limit for elderly ones. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years the amount of
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
 has risen on the roads.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it has been suggested that the best method for reducing
accidents
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 is to lower the
age
Use synonyms
limit
Use synonyms
 for elderly citizens and to raise the
age
Use synonyms
limit
Use synonyms
 of younger ones. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I opine that
this
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 way doesn’t support to reduce the
accidents
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. First of all, there are many methods to decrease the amount of
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
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 occurring on the roads. Most of all, driving vehicles after drinking alcohol
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
 in chaos and
accidents
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. To get rid of
this
Linking Words
 situation, imposing fines for
drivers
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 who exceed the permitted alcohol consumption level.
Moreover
Linking Words
, high speed driving , which
pass
Change the verb form
passes
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 the acceptable speed
limit
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 and
breaking
Wrong verb form
breaks
show examples
 the road rules and regulations are the factors to
happen
Verb problem
cause
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 heavy road
accidents
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. To overcome
this
Linking Words
, punishment
such
Linking Words
 as charging fines or banning driving
license
Fix the agreement mistake
licenses
show examples
 should be given by government authorities.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent survey conducted by the police station reports that the major reasons for
traffic
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accidents
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 are driving vehicles by drunk
drivers
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 and exceeding the
limit
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 and
also
Linking Words
 reveals imposing high fine support to
lesson
Correct your spelling
lessen
show examples
traffic
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accidents
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.
However
Linking Words
, lifting the
age
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limit
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 of the younger and reducing the
age
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 of elderly
drivers
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 may be affected somewhat
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
 reducing
accidents
Use synonyms
. The prominent reason for believing it is
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 poor vision and health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 of the elders.
In addition
Linking Words
, young
drivers
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 are immature to drive perfectly and carefully.
For example
Linking Words
, one of
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traffic
Add an article
the traffic
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 policemen in
media
Add an article
a media
the media
show examples
 press conference, telecasted by the Rupavahini channel, pointed out that
twenty five
Add a hyphen
twenty-five
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of total
accidents
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 have happened by the youth and the elders.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it goes without saying that
this
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 view is realistic and reliable. To recapitulate, I disagree with
this
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 argument, because changing the
age
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limit
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young and elderly citizens
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 not the solution
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 declining
traffic
Use synonyms
accidents
Use synonyms
.

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Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples and data to support your points. Include more detailed explanations for your arguments. Stay focused on the topic and expand on each point to fully address the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear structure throughout the essay. Use transition words to connect ideas and paragraphs. Make sure your introduction and conclusion clearly state your position and summarize your main points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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