In many countries,children are becoming overweight and unhealthy.Some people think that the government should have the responsibility.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government #responsibility

Increasing numbers of

health

issues are prevalent in young children in recent times. It is believed by some people that governments are liable to resolve

this

issue. I agree with

this

belief to some extent as in my opinion,

this

situation is the responsibility of both the government, the society and individuals. As the government is responsible for maintaining and improving the economic growth of its country, it must ensure steps in managing and enhancing the

health

of its youth. Unhealthy children would mean an unhealthy future generation of a nation, which would result in a slowdown of the economy as a whole.

For example

, an adult suffering from diabetes at an early age would not be able to consistently work efficiently as he would constantly suffer from lethargy and mental weakness.

However

health

management targeting

Suggestion

management, targeting

children is

also

the duty of society and its individuals.

Health

issues among children would get worse with age and might result in other severe diseases

such

as heart disorders and high blood pressure. These

ailments

violent or severe weather (viewed as caused by the action of the four elements)

elements

might

then

be passed through generations and create a pool of unhealthy individuals in the community.

As a result

, parents as well as other adults need to instill the importance of lifestyle and

health

management among young children in order to equip them with long-term

health

consciousness.

For instance

, a family that follows a healthy routine and fitness regime would cultivate these good habits in their offspring and other kids, and prevent these young children succumbing to

health

problems. In conclusion, I agree to some extent that governments are responsible for solving the problem of unhealthy and overweight children. But, society and its individuals

also

play a critical role in overcoming

this

situation.

Tue Jul 30 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries,children are becoming overweight and unhealthy.Some people think that the government should have the responsibility.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Many young people change their jobs and careers frequently. What are the reasons for this? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that spending a lot of money on wedding parties and other celebrations is just a waste. Others, however, think that such events are necessary, so spending money on them is acceptable.

some people believe that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.