IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Businesses should hire employees for their entire lives. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#businesses #employees #lives #support
I would have to completely disagree with the statement above. In the following paragraphs I will outline the basic concepts of my position.
First
 of all, I will least the major disadvantages for employers. On the today's
market
 a
company
 must be very flexible in order to compete with other firms. So, imagine the situation when a
company
can not
can not
cannot
 fire its employees to stay on the
market
. It will lead to loosing not only a profit, but the clients,
market
 share and competitive ability. Now, imagine the situation when a
company
 is growing fast, everything is good and the
next
 few years are going to be excellent. So, employers need more people to extend the production.
However
, nobody can tell what will happen in a few years. In
this
 case, employers will be
afraif
filled with fear or apprehension
afraid
 to hire a new people and extend their business because they will not be able to fire them if something goes wrong. Another important aspect of
this
 is that a
company
can not
can not
cannot
 have the best employees. It
can not
can not
cannot
 hire
the
Suggestion
The
 better
one
 without dismissing another employee. What kind of disadvantages will have an
employee
Suggestion
Employee
 in exchange for
this
 kind of
job
 security?
First
 of all, it will be very difficult to find a
job
 if
one
 is not the best, because an employer does not want to spend money on
one
's education.
Besides
,
employer
Suggestion
an employer
employers
the employer
 will not have a chance to fire
one
 if he does not do his
job
 well.
Second
 of all, employees with
this
 kind of security tend not to perfect themselves because after they are hired they can not lose their
job
. In conclusion, I would like to add that
this
 statement has some positive aspects
too
Accept comma addition
too, such
to such
to to such
such
 as constancy, a strong spirit of the
company
, etc.
This
 system takes place in Japan and some companies succeeded in
it
Suggestion
It
. But I think that the reason of it subsists in the Japanese traditions, the particular cultural features, habits and customs.
However
, on today's
market
 here in the United States a
company
 can not afford to hire employees for their entire life.
Submitted by sharma.tarun1996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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