IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

-Some students tend to play computer games rather than do sports. Why is this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

#-some #students #computer #games #sports
It is certainly true that many students are getting more involved in playing digital games than sports. In my opinion,
this
 is because of easy access to computers and
lesser
time available for ease and relaxation
leisure
 facilities for sports activities.
However
, a few solutions can be implemented to tackle
this
 issue. The fact that fewer students take part in sports activities and more in computer games stems from a number of reasons. The prime reason is that these days computers and mobiles have become economical and are easily accessible.
Also
, these electronic gadgets come with different gaming options that are specifically designed to be addictive in nature.
In addition
, these days parents tend to have a busier lifestyle due to which they have less control over the activities of their children.
Further
, the lack of outdoor sports facilities worsens
this
 situation even more. One possible solution to encourage students to engage in sports activities is to make sports a compulsory subject in schools.
As a result
, more and more children will start developing an interest in physical sports.
Secondly
, the authority can allocate funds for the construction of sports grounds and making it easier for students to have access to these facilities.
Moreover
, parents can use parental control software in order to limit the amount of time that their children can spend on playing games on computers. In conclusion, to draw students towards playing sports and reducing their interest in video games, the opening of outdoor sports facilities, incorporating sports in
curriculum
Suggestion
the curriculum
 and
use
Suggestion
the use
 of parental control applications
are
Suggestion
is
 the most effective solutions. If these mentioned solutions are
implemented
Accept comma addition
implemented, then
then
 the number of children taking part in physical activities would soon rise.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: