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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children's leisure activities must be educational,otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time
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Group
Suggestion
A group
 of people
consider
Suggestion
considers
 it as a truth that youngsters should spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 by doing some knowledgeable activities rather than indulging in useless
activitie
any specific behavior
activity
activities
.
Study
Suggestion
The study
 is
important but
Accept comma addition
important, but
 there should be fun and creativity, when it comes to
time
Use synonyms
 for leisure.
Person
Suggestion
A person
The person
 should gain enjoyment during
such
Linking Words
 activity, as it is necessary to refresh oneself at mental level. Life will be boring if there is only learning and no joy. I think everybody needs a break from monotonous routine and so as children. If anyone
keep
Suggestion
keeps
 on studying
then
Linking Words
 there will be a
time
Use synonyms
 when
person's brain
Suggestion
a person's brain
 will stop thinking. To avoid
this
Linking Words
, there should be some amount of
time
Use synonyms
allotment
Suggestion
allotted
 in between to do what you enjoy the most. In my childhood we had two hours of club activity as a part of our school
Use synonyms
time table
a schedule listing events and the times at which they will take place
timetable
 and we had to choose an activity of our interest to do, during those hours. That way, I developed my interest in painting and cooking very well as well as there was
lot
Suggestion
a lot
lots
 of pleasure. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, regular school picnics during winter
time
Use synonyms
, assembly programs,
for instance
Linking Words
, singing competition Rangoli competition or monologue
,
Accept space
,
these are all unforgettable moments which
are I think
Suggestion
am I thinking
have I thought
are I think
 necessary for every child.
Such
Linking Words
 activities help building up children's personality, character and social skills. I would say, education with leisure is better than only education and no entertainment. Free
time
Use synonyms
 should be relaxing and refreshing,
specially
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 for children. It reduces burden as well as increases their strength to learn or retain knowledge and better understanding with
fresh mind
Suggestion
a fresh mind
.
Submitted by Sal on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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