It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. Is it a positive or negative development?

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In many parts of the world, the population of the elderly is swelling compared to the youthful demographic and it is expected to outnumber them in the not so distant
duture
the time yet to come
future
. In my perspective,
this
Linking Words
is a negative trend which leads to the financial strain on
society
Use synonyms
and lack of available workforce. The
first
Linking Words
reason that a longer lifespan is not
possibly
Suggestion
possible
positive development is the financial strain that it puts on the
society
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
is because as people
age they
Accept comma addition
age, they
become more fragile and they are not as healthy as they used to be
,
Accept space
,
as a result
Linking Words
, they require some extra services in
society
Use synonyms
. Simply put, most of the senior citizens have some kind of ailments
such
Linking Words
as arthritis or heart diseases which can affect their mobility,
consequently
Linking Words
, public services and infrastructure should be built in a way to adapt to their disabilities.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, not only is the burden on the state, but
also
Linking Words
it is
on
Suggestion
for
the younger generation as they have no alternative but to act as
caregivers
Suggestion
for their older parents who are unable to take care of themselves owing to potential illnesses. Another grave problem that the high life expectancy might cause is the shortage in the available workforce. If
the large proportion
Suggestion
the largest proportion
largest proportion
larger proportion
of
population
Suggestion
the population
was old, there would be an economic crisis, as the most of industries would suffer from lack of employee.
This
Linking Words
is because when people reach the retirement age, there would not be sufficient young
jobseekers
Suggestion
job seekers
to replace them which leads to severe ramification for the country.
For example
Linking Words
, many industrialized nations in Europe, including Germany, have
face
Suggestion
faced
these difficulties so that they have resorted to importing workforce from developing countries. To conclude, I would contend that the disproportionate number of
population
Suggestion
the population
and having
more old
Suggestion
older
more older
people may lead to several complications, both for the
society
Use synonyms
and the younger generation.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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