It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

#future #proportion #people #population #countries #🔸is #development

It is argued that in some parts of the world,

number

Suggestion

the number

a number

of elderly people would skyrocket in

compare

Suggestion

comparison

to youngsters in

future

Suggestion

the future

which might bring out some detrimental consequences.

Suggestion

For

economical

Suggestion

economic

perspective, it is obvious that there would be more people of retirement who are eligible to receive a pension. Since being not able to work, they would not contribute to improve

government

revenue. The proportion of young adults who can contribute to

government economy

Accept comma addition

government, economy

through taxes,

therefor

(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result

therefore

, would be smaller.

In other words

, less young adults work, less tax revenue will be provided for

government

. Healthcare demand of older people often would rise;

this

leads to devoting some

government

budget to these citizen

fellow

Suggestion

fellows

, and greater taxes for

young employee

Suggestion

young employees

a young employee

to compensate

this

budget shortage. Having higher proportion of elderly people would influence negatively on

social aspect

Suggestion

the social aspect

social aspects

of a country. The elderly residents are not as motivated and

energetic

Suggestion

energized

as adults, so they might experience a sedentary lifestyle. They often not able to adapt to diversities happened in

modern technology world

Suggestion

the modern technology world

;

this

could sometimes render monotonous

society

where people are

demotivate

, and do not

effort

be able to spare or give up

afford

to develop their

society

Moreover

, some careers, take some jobs related to agriculture or

mining which

Accept comma addition

mining, which

entail some physical activities as examples; would diminish because older people seems unlikely can do these demanding jobs. It,

hence

, causes just some careers be done in

society

regardless of age. In conclusion, I believe we lose more from increasing older population who could deteriorate economic and social prospect of a

society

Submitted by msharifielts on Tue Aug 06 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

aging population
proportion
mentorship
strain
public healthcare systems
pension schemes
workforce
economic growth
automation
consumption patterns
intergenerational solidarity
sustainable living
environmental conservation

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It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owing a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Some parents think children's behavior should be strictly controlled, while other parents think children should be free to behave. Discuss both views and give examples.

Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world. Others feel that these organisations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based. Discuss both sides and give your own view.

With the rapid development of communication technology, e.g smart phones, tablets and other communication devices, some people believe that the disadvantages of these devices outweigh their advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?