It is expected in the near future that there will be a higher proportion of old people compared to younger population in some countries. 🔸Is it a positive or negative development? Give your opinion and examples.

It is argued that in some parts of the world,
number
Suggestion
the number
a number
of elderly people would skyrocket in
compare
Suggestion
comparison
to youngsters in
future
Suggestion
the future
which might bring out some detrimental consequences.
On
Suggestion
For
an
economical
Suggestion
economic
perspective, it is obvious that there would be more people of retirement who are eligible to receive a pension. Since being not able to work, they would not contribute to improve
government
revenue. The proportion of young adults who can contribute to
government economy
Accept comma addition
government, economy
through taxes,
therefor
(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result
therefore
, would be smaller.
In other words
, less young adults work, less tax revenue will be provided for
government
. Healthcare demand of older people often would rise;
this
leads to devoting some
government
budget to these citizen
fellow
Suggestion
fellows
, and greater taxes for
young employee
Suggestion
young employees
a young employee
to compensate
this
budget shortage. Having higher proportion of elderly people would influence negatively on
social aspect
Suggestion
the social aspect
social aspects
of a country. The elderly residents are not as motivated and
energetic
Suggestion
energized
as adults, so they might experience a sedentary lifestyle. They often not able to adapt to diversities happened in
modern technology world
Suggestion
the modern technology world
;
this
could sometimes render monotonous
society
where people are
demotivate
, and do not
effort
be able to spare or give up
afford
to develop their
society
.
Moreover
, some careers, take some jobs related to agriculture or
mining which
Accept comma addition
mining, which
entail some physical activities as examples; would diminish because older people seems unlikely can do these demanding jobs. It,
hence
, causes just some careers be done in
society
regardless of age. In conclusion, I believe we lose more from increasing older population who could deteriorate economic and social prospect of a
society
.
Submitted by msharifielts on

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • mentorship
  • strain
  • public healthcare systems
  • pension schemes
  • workforce
  • economic growth
  • automation
  • consumption patterns
  • intergenerational solidarity
  • sustainable living
  • environmental conservation
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