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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Tarnagul is a small town near Melbourne. The maps show the town's development over a period of time.

Tarnagul is a small town near Melbourne. The maps show the town's development over a period of time.
#tarnagul #town #melbourne #maps #show #development #period #time
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The maps depict the changes in Melbourne’s small
town
 named Tarnagul over one century. In 1900, the
town
 was not much developed. It has one orange and
mandarins
Change the noun form
mandarin
show examples
 farm and
also
 one diary. There was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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very little
town
 area in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 of
farmland
Correct article usage
the farmland
show examples
. After 50 years, the
town
 was quite progressed and focused on farming. There are orange farming
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the north and east
side
.
As well as
 lemon and grapefruit
produced
Add a missing verb
are produced
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 the west
side
. There is
also
Railway
Correct article usage
a Railway
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 track and some parking
shed
Fix the agreement mistake
sheds
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the south
side
 of
town
. But the
town
 area had
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
expanded
more
Change preposition
by more
show examples
 than 20%. In the 21st century, the whole look of
this
town
 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
changed. It had
wildlife
Correct article usage
a wildlife
show examples
 sanctuary
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west
side
. Both farmlands were empty and own
town
 area was
also
 shrunk. But there were many developments
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the south
side
. It has a park
along with
tourist
Correct article usage
a tourist
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 shop and on the other
side
 of
Add an article
the road
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road
Add a comma
,road
show examples
 parking shed
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 converted into a local museum and craft market. The track has been removed. Road and river stay
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
 100 years.
Submitted by Sravani on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words town, side with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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