The line graph shows the number of population shows TV and Radio from october -november 1992.

The line graph shows the number of population shows TV and Radio from october -november 1992.
The line graph illustrates the
number
of
audiences
(over 4 years old) enjoying audio and television in
day
Add an article
the day
a day
show examples
from October -
december
Change the capitalization
December
show examples
1992. Time
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
measured in
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2 hour
Add a hyphen
2-hour
show examples
interval and population
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
measured in percentage.
Overall
, the
number
of
TV
audiences
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
more than the Radio
audiences
. The
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
starts
Change the verb form
start
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
equal
number
of
TV
and Radio
audiences
but after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passes the
number
of audio
audiences
increased significantly
whereas
as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passes the
amount
of
TV
audiences
increased rapidly and
at the end
of the
day
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
decreases
sharply. With regards to the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
TV
audiences
at 1.00
clock
it was 5% - 10% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
watching
TV
and within half
hour
Correct article usage
an hour
show examples
its
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
. At 5.00
clock
the
number
TV
Change preposition
of TV
show examples
audiences
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
slightly and gradually falls to under 5% at 11:30. From 11:30 the
number
of
TV
watchers rose to 15% at 11:30 and from that as the passed the
amount
of
TV
audiences
rose gradually to just under 45%at 21.00
clock
and
decreases
steeply to just over 10%
at the end
of the
day
.
On the other hand
, at the beginning of the
day
the
number
of audio
audiences
is under 5% and remain almost unchanged at 6:00
clock
. From 7:00
clock
the
amount
of audio
audiences
rose sharply to 25% and
decreases
gradually as the passes. At 15.00
clock
there was an increased in audio
audiences
for 3 hours and it
decreases
again slightly and ends up as like as the beginning of the
day
at just under 5%.
Submitted by sayem on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, audiences, day, tv, amount, decreases, clock with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just under" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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