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Band 6.5

The crime rate nowadays is decreasing compared to the past due to advances in technology which can prevent and solve crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#crime #rate #advances #technology
Technological improvements aid in the prevention and resolution of criminal activities, which lead to a drastic reduction in crime rate. In my opinion, I agree that the use of technology is key to minimizing
level
Suggestion
levels
 of crime.
However
, I believe that it eases people to commit crime. Technology
such
 as CCTV systems and facial recognition by artificial intelligence, which provides surveillance on the streets and easily detect wanted criminals.
Thus
, a potential breach of
law
Suggestion
the law
 can be prevented and detain dangerous criminals that possess weapons,
for instance
, guns and knives.
Furthermore
, if people are aware of being monitored, not only they will obey the laws but to stay away from unlawful activities.
For example
, installing speed cameras along the highways has curtailed traffic crimes dramatically in Malaysia.
On the other hand
, technology advancement introduces modern crimes
through
Accept comma addition
through, such
such
 as cyber scamming and hacking computer-based systems. These illegal activities often involve
cellphone
Suggestion
cell phone
 and computer.
For instance
, scammer calling the parents requesting for
big sum
Suggestion
a big sum
big sums
 of money to save their children from kidnapping, human trafficking or illnesses, when their children are not with them.
In addition
, online hackers can steal and sell personal information of a person to the
third
 party without permission by just sitting in front of
computer
Suggestion
a computer
the computer
. There are online hackers hack charity websites to fraud Samaritan’s money. In conclusion,
although
, the use of technology causes the appearance of cybercrimes, there is a significant reduction in crimes as modern crimes are easily tackled because today’s people are smarter and knowledgeable
Submitted by harpeng-456 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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