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Band 5

In some countries, children under 16 years are not allowed to leave school by law and get full-time employment. Is it a good or bad idea?

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Introduction
In a few nations, it is legally not permitted to children underneath 16 years of age to exit from school and indulge in full-time employment. I believe
this
Linking Words
 has positive implications
on
Suggestion
for
 children.
Body paragraph 1
To embark on, children would be focused on nurturing their academic or extracurricular aspects. When a child has only one thing to follow, it makes their life a convenient one. Adolescence is a phase where holistic development takes place, and schools are a perfect place to nourish a young mind. Being engrossed in merely school curriculum allows an individual to emerge as a fully grown person. In Asian countries, every adolescent beneath 16 years of age is not relieved from school and has produced exemplary outcomes in a child’s overall development.
Body paragraph 2
To elucidate
further
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, fully employed adolescents, who are below 16 years are vulnerable to mental pressure. The world is inundated with myriad opportunistic people, who take undue advantage of minors.
Such
Linking Words
 clever populace
harass
Suggestion
harasses
 the
underaged
not of legal age
underage
 children by not only immersing them in excess
work but
Accept comma addition
work, but
 by
also
Linking Words
 paying them a meagre amount in lieu of the job.
Moreover
Linking Words
, child slavery is quite common in developing and underdeveloped countries.
This
Linking Words
 entire inhuman treatment results in mental agony.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it disrupts the whole life of the innocent souls. The African ministry,
for example
Linking Words
, DOES NOT PROPAGATE REGULATIONS CONCERNING CHILDRENS’ SAFETY and future prospects. Numerous youngsters could be seen wandering for work or being trapped in the hands of cruel employers.
Hence
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 incidence plays
with
Suggestion
in
 the future of children.
Conclusion
To recapitulate, I bolster the law of the nations that safeguards the young generation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the entire world should adopt
such
Linking Words
 measures for the betterment of the young populace.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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