IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, few actually achieve this. What solutions can you suggest?

#people #balance #work #aspects #life
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Work
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 life
balance
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 has become a food for thought in recent times. Most workers spend more
time
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 at
work
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 due to the reward system.
This
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 essay will examine the causes and
then
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 profound solutions to them. Admittedly, most workers struggle to
balance
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work
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 with other aspects of their life due to a myriad of
reasons but
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reasons, but
focus
Suggestion
the focus
 here will be on only two.
Firstly
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,
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,
the reward system in most organisations
favors
promote over another
favours
 long working hours rather than
productivity
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. According to World bank
,
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,
workers are only productive for just fifty percent of
time
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 spent at
Work
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.
Secondly
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, the workplace has become a place of psychological refuge for workers, a United nations research states that eighty percent of professionals have no personal identity outside the
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work place
a place where work is done
workplace
thus
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 explaining attachment to
work
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. Having looked at causes above, two main solutions will be propounded which are changing orientations and policies. Reward system should be
productivity
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 based rather than long hours,
this
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 will drive a culture of creativity at
work
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 rather than logging huge hours at
work
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.
Secondly
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 organisations should mandate vacation times for employees and discourage overtime rewards. When workers are mandated to go on vacation and they are being paid, it gives them adequate
time
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 to recharge,
balance
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 other aspects of their lives which will in turn increase
productivity
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 eventually. In conclusion, if workers are being rewarded based on
productivity
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 and
time
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 offs are adequately paid,
this
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 will aid employees to
balance
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 other aspects of their lives and
thus
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 increase
productivity
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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