IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many people try to find a balance between their work and other aspects of their life. However, few actually achieve this. What solutions can you suggest?

#people #balance #work #aspects #life
Work
 life
balance
 has become a food for thought in recent times. Most workers spend more
time
 at
work
 due to the reward system.
This
 essay will examine the causes and
then
 profound solutions to them. Admittedly, most workers struggle to
balance
work
 with other aspects of their life due to a myriad of
reasons but
Accept comma addition
reasons, but
focus
Suggestion
the focus
 here will be on only two.
Firstly
,
Accept space
,
the reward system in most organisations
favors
promote over another
favours
 long working hours rather than
productivity
. According to World bank
,
Accept space
,
workers are only productive for just fifty percent of
time
 spent at
Work
.
Secondly
, the workplace has become a place of psychological refuge for workers, a United nations research states that eighty percent of professionals have no personal identity outside the
work place
a place where work is done
workplace
thus
 explaining attachment to
work
. Having looked at causes above, two main solutions will be propounded which are changing orientations and policies. Reward system should be
productivity
 based rather than long hours,
this
 will drive a culture of creativity at
work
 rather than logging huge hours at
work
.
Secondly
 organisations should mandate vacation times for employees and discourage overtime rewards. When workers are mandated to go on vacation and they are being paid, it gives them adequate
time
 to recharge,
balance
 other aspects of their lives which will in turn increase
productivity
 eventually. In conclusion, if workers are being rewarded based on
productivity
 and
time
 offs are adequately paid,
this
 will aid employees to
balance
 other aspects of their lives and
thus
 increase
productivity
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: