Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard workers? what are the factors that should be cosidered while recruiting the staffs for sales positions?

Business establishments should hire

people

Use synonyms

who are excessively money-minded because they will be the most hardworking employees. In my opinion, I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement because

people

Use synonyms

who are money-driven would go to any possible length to make more money. Intelligence and skill should be put into consideration during recruitment of staff.

Firstly

Linking Words

, individuals who are greedy for wealth work diligently by carrying out their duties effectively at their

jobs

Use synonyms

in order to earn a higher. They are more hardworking and

this

Linking Words

in turn helps the company to progress greatly.

Furthermore

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

strive hard to get a promotion if possible because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

means that they would be paid a larger amount of money.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

reports, in Nigeria, employees who performed better at their

jobs

Use synonyms

got promoted and

thus

Linking Words

a pay rise compared to individuals who did not put in as much effort at work.

In addition

Linking Words

, it is important to note that, intelligence and skill are important factors to be considered at job interviews in order to know their performance capability. When individuals are asked formal questions, the interviewer would be able to know how intellectually sound they are and see if they are capable of the job.

Moreover

Linking Words

, practical tests should be conducted as a chance for employment seekers to express their skills more practically.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Kenya, there are many establishments that have many practical tests as a prototype of the real job,

such

Linking Words

as baking and sewing tests amongst many others for blue-collar

jobs

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I agree that companies should recruit

people

Use synonyms

who are materialistic in nature because they are diligent workers.

However

Linking Words

, intelligence and craftsmanship should

also

Linking Words

be carefully scrutinized because they are necessary factors to consider when hiring

people

Use synonyms

for

jobs

Use synonyms

kikiSat May 10 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clarification

Make sure to clearly define the term 'money-minded' in your introduction to set the context for your argument.

examples

The essay could benefit from more nuanced examples or case studies to strengthen the argument regarding the effectiveness of money-driven employees versus other attributes.

balance

Consider balancing the discussion about money-driven employees with a more thorough exploration of other qualities or motivations that can lead to effective performance.

argumentation

You have a clear position regarding the topic and support it with relevant points.

structure

Your essay has a logical flow and is easy to follow with clear paragraph structure.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

intrinsic motivation
extrinsic motivation
career growth
employee turnover
skill set
company culture
interpersonal skills
job satisfaction
retention strategies
performance metrics
work-life balance
recognition programs
performance incentives
engagement levels
value alignment

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?
There is a growing concern that certain adult-related diseases, such as obesity, are increasingly affecting children. This phenomenon can be attributed to the widespread consumption of unhealthy foods in schools, coupled with a lack of nutritional knowledge among parents. Consequently, it is imperative to implement effective regulations to address this issue.
7
band
Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?
Working from home is becoming more and more common day by day.Grown people do their office work from home while children do their homework from home all of this has become possible just because of the cheap and accessible computer technology. This essay will discuss both the advantages and the disadvantages.It is a positive development that computer technology become cheaper and more accessible.
7.5
band
1.You have recently attended a job interview and have been offered the job. Write a letter to the company accepting the job offer, and provide details about when you will be able to start and any other information you think they may need.
My Name is Mubi and I have attended a job interview for Medical Administrator Position. I am very delighted to inform you that I accept your Job offer and I would like to request you written Offer letter.
6
band
Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
There are a host of milestones in our lives, which can determine the path to success. After graduating high school, everyone experiences the most important turning points and choices in life. Some people believe that many students have the tendency to defer university enrollment to go abroad or to work. In my opinion, while there are several harms to students, i argue that the positive effects of this action are more convincing.
6.5
band
The plans show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The map illustrates the changes that Porth Harbour have undergone since 2000.

Sales companies should recruit people who are hungry for money as they will make the most dedicated workers. Do you think money is the driving force behind hard workers? what are the factors that should be cosidered while recruiting the staffs for sales positions?

Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered?

Around the world it is likely that more adults will work from and more children will study from home as computer technology become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a negative or a positive development?

1.You have recently attended a job interview and have been offered the job. Write a letter to the company accepting the job offer, and provide details about when you will be able to start and any other information you think they may need.

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

The plans show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.