air travel can only benefit the richest people in the world. The ordinary people can get no advantage with the development of air travel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

While
many
people
argue that travelling by plane is only beneficial for the affluent class, I still believe that not only wealthy
people
but
also
ordinary citizens have merits of it. On the one hand, I agree that the upper class is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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thriving thanks to the advancement of
air
travel for several reasons.
Firstly
,
air
flights afford wealthy businessman more opportunities to manage their global chain of companies.
Air
travelling is known as the most convenient means of transport, which allows travellers to commute to anywhere
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Earth in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
short time. As
the
Correct article usage
a
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result, affluent business
people
can easily arrange their locomotive work,
for example
, arriving in China for the meeting in the morning and returning
Canada
Change preposition
to Canada
show examples
in the same-day evening for the conference.
Secondly
,
air
trips associated with
the
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apply
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luxurious services and flying-related technology have become
the
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apply
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recreation and leisure activities for the rich, which
the
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apply
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ordinary
people
hardly think of owing to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
expensiveness
Replace the word
expense
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.
On the other hand
, not only the up class over the world but
also
other classes in society are the beneficiaries of flights.
Air
travel has remarkably promoted
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
economy.
This
is evidenced by the fact that when travellers come, they spend
much
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
money
for
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on
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accommodation, tourist places and souvenirs which are the main source of income
of
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for
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many ordinary
people
.
For example
, in the tourist season, some Vietnamese
people
can earn enough for their whole year by selling
Non la
Add a hyphen
Non-la
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and Ao Dai, the traditional costumes of Vietnam, for travellers.
Furthermore
, travelling by aircraft offers employment opportunities to
common
Add an article
the common
show examples
man. Being hired by travel companies or airlines, ordinary citizens can easily get a suitable job
such
as cleaner, tourist guide
and
Correct word choice
or
show examples
flying attendant. In conclusion, I believe that to some extent both the affluent and the poor can, more or less, gain a better life from the increase in
air
flights.
Submitted by maithuha21052000 on

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by acknowledging both perspectives and providing examples to support your argument. However, ensure that your arguments are balanced and provide equal weight to both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and provide a good overview of your arguments. Ensure that your body paragraphs follow a logical sequence and transition smoothly between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Well-developed introduction and conclusion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible
  • democratised
  • low-cost carriers
  • budget airlines
  • globalization
  • international trade
  • luxury experiences
  • affordable flights
  • cultural exchange
  • environmental impact
  • eco-friendly
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