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Band 5

Nowadays, it is possible to move ocean creatures from their natural habitats at sea and have them relocated in amusement parks for the purpose of people's recreation. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Explain your reasons and support them with specific examples.

#move #ocean #creatures #habitats #sea #amusement #parks #purpose #people #recreation #outweigh #support
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Fauna from
sea
Suggestion
the sea
, these days, can be moved to man-made parks, which are for public’s enjoyment.
Although
 it can act as a spur for students to learn more about aquatic species and their lives, in my
perspective it
Accept comma addition
perspective, it
 will not be a logical move, as
then
 not only the natural ecosystem of
oceans
Suggestion
the oceans
 will be disturbed, but
also
 it will be cruel to these organisms. Admittedly, after seeing these creatures in actual, interest of learners might be boosted in related subjects. Studying something just in books can be a little boring, but witnessing it in real
life
 may propel a person to give more importance to the same topic.
For instance
, a recent study, by Patiala’s zoological garden, revealed that 30% of the local college’s undergraduates developed more liking towards biology subject only after having a glimpse of real dolphins and orcas in their wildlife park.
Consequently
, if water animals are shown to pupils, they could be encouraged towards
life
 science subjects.
On the other hand
, the nature is adversely affected in multiple ways when the maritime
life
 is transferred to their new artificial homes.
Firstly
, if some creatures are detached from their usual habitat, it will upset the food chain. Predator’s count, of these beings, will plummet, while the number of their prey will skyrocket.
This
 in turn will wipe out some important species.
Secondly
, as no living being deserves to be
agonized
formed into a structured or coherent whole
organized
 after being taken away from its native environment and to be used for showcasing to others, so doing so with any creature, indubitably, will be an inhumane act. To recapitulate, while there are a few merits of shifting marine biota to amusement parks, I am convinced that its demerits are far more in terms of loss to
natural cycle
Suggestion
the natural cycle
a natural cycle
natural cycles
 of
life
 and torture given to living beings.
Submitted by satveers643 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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