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Band 4.5

Some people think governments should spend less money on arts and invest more in education. How far do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #governments #money #arts #education
The health of a country is dependent on the
education
 level of its residents and without it a country's progress can be crippled in comparison to other countries. The arts are essential in terms of hobby and can be used as an addendum. But having artistic skills with no
education
 can throw our
life
 into darkness.
For example
, recently a daily newspaper reported about a person who was exceptionally well in playing the violin and wanted to build a career in that field failed to achieve his goal because he had no formal inculcation and no one to talk about his artistic skills who could give him the required platform to flourish. His son had recorded all his works and his work became prominent after his death. All the troubles could have been reduced if the man had been educated as he could have known and talked with many
emeriti
Suggestion
Emeriti
 in his field, thereby enhancing his skill and popularity.
Education
 makes a complete person, who is capable of expressing himself to the entire world. Not all people can be better in arts and only a handful can make their living from
it but
Accept comma addition
it, but
 the entire nation needs the
education
 to sustain their livelihood. People can make their daily
life
easy
Suggestion
easier
 and comfortable with
education as
Accept comma addition
education, as
 they get to know about their surrounding situations more clearly In my opinion,
education
 should be promoted in each and every
homes
Suggestion
home
. The government should invest more in
education
 than arts to help their nation prosper forward. Arts should
also
 be
promoted but
Accept comma addition
promoted, but
 not at the cost of
education
.
Education
 should be made compulsory for all individuals. At
last
, I want to say that,
education
 and
arts
Suggestion
the arts
 are an essential part of human
life
 and both should be present in a human being.
Life
 without arts can be sustainable but
life
 without
education
 is similar to death

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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