Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

#home #hands #machines #development

In the past

Accept space

people used to do daily activities on their own,

Suggestion

the

time

changed the way of living

also

changed, now a days we are using electronic equipments like washing

machine

hand-held

small and light enough to be operated while you hold it in your hands

handheld

mixer, vacuum cleaner e.t.c. By using these we can save

time

and do some productive

work

. Every coin has two faces, there are some cons

also

, by utilizing these home appliances

alot

Suggestion

a lot

energy

is consumed.

Firstly

, let's discuss the positive traits, in

this

modern world women are

also

going to

work

, it is more useful for them so that they can complete the daily chores in

time

and leave for

work

. After coming from

work

they just switch on the

machine

and can spend some

time

with their children and other family members.

Secondly

, the burden will be reduced to some extent not completely. Previously we

used wash our

Suggestion

used to wash our

clothes there is so much of

time

consuming, but now the

machine

does 75% of the

work

only drying the clothes part is to be done by us. Every one can buy these products as they became affordable to everyone.

Moreover

, as earlier said these products consume more

energy

and

effecting

arousing affect

affecting

the environment and creating health problems. For

small chores

Suggestion

the small chores

also

they are using

machines

Accept comma addition

machines, for

for example

, dough maker, it is used to knead the dough, we can knead by ourselves by doing in

this

way some hand exercise will be there by

this

blood can circulate to every part of the body

Accept space

Not only

this

the refrigerator releases

chloro

fluoro

Suggestion

Fluoro

carbon

gases which

Accept comma addition

gases, which

leads to depletion of

ozone layer

Suggestion

the ozone layer

, which acts as a barrier between

sun

Suggestion

the sun

and earth, as sun rays contains of UV rays. If

this

layer is not

there

Accept comma addition

there, then

then

the UV rays direct fall on human

skin which

Accept comma addition

skin, which

leads to cancer and other skin diseases.

However if

Accept comma addition

However, if

energy

is consumed there won’t be any

energy

and fuel for our future generations. I conclude that, depending completely on a

machine

is not good, a few things we can't avoid but using them appropriately makes life easier. We need to balance

eco-system

Suggestion

the eco - system

too.

Submitted by dundigalamala21 on Wed Aug 14 2019

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

350 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Automation
Efficiency
Manual labor
Displacement
Homemaking skills
Technological advancements
Self-sufficiency
Resource depletion
Energy efficiency
Social dynamics
Operational understanding

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Many things that used to be done in the home by hands are now being done by machines. Does this development bring more advantages or disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training) Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

despite huge improvements in healthcare , the overall standard of physical health in many developed countries is now failing what could be the reason for this trend and what can be done to reserve it.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Summarise the information about the process of making carbonated drinks by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.