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Band 4.5

As a country develops, people tend to buy more cars. Do the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

#country #people #cars #environment
There is no doubt that purchasing digit of vehicles
were increasing
Suggestion
was increasing
 once country developed. There
are
Suggestion
is
 minor environmental impairment for
this
 movement, namely increasing air pollution as the result of many people having a
car
. But the benefits of having a
car
 personally would prevail over the drawbacks in practical term.
To begin
with increasing
Accept comma addition
with, increasing
 purchase of
car
 rate can deteriorate
air quality
Suggestion
the air quality
.
Although
 as it
seen
Suggestion
is seen
 today most cars are driven by fossil
fuels which
Accept comma addition
fuels, which
 emit harmful gases like carbon dioxide and carbon monoxide, recently
car
 company
have been developed
Suggestion
has been developed
has been developing
 modern technology to using electricity, solar power and biofuels for
new type
Suggestion
a new type
 of
car
 that we called as an eco-friendly
car
.
For instance
, The Sion, an electric
car
 launched by Sono Motors,
that is
 powered by the sun.
Thus
, by using those renewable energies,
car
Suggestion
the car
cars
 will no longer generates poisonous gases.
However
,
having cars have brought
Suggestion
were cars brought
are cars brought
are cars bringing
having cars have brought
 significant positive impact
for
Suggestion
of
 human being: one essential benefit is convenient
mobilty
the quality of moving freely
mobility
. Private cars are an excellent choice for daily commuting as they provide their users flexibility,
convinience
the state of being suitable or opportune
convenience
conveniences
 and safety ride.
For instance
, if a family chooses to go for outdoor activity
such
 as hiking or camping,
private
Suggestion
a private car will
car
 will suitable to meet their needs.
In addition
, cars
also
 are particularly helpful in
emergency situation
Suggestion
emergency situations
an emergency situation
 where getting to the destination in time is very crucial.
For example
, when one of the family
member
Suggestion
members
get
Suggestion
gets
 sick in the middle of the night,
private
Suggestion
private cars
car
 will very helpful to go to hospital immediately. To conclude,
although
 people tendency to buy
car
Suggestion
a car
 can have
certain negative effect
Suggestion
a certain negative effect
 in environmental side, it has an extremely positive influence in some practical ways and I believe that these benefits of private
car
 outweigh its drawbacks.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon footprint
  • Sustainability
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Fossil fuels
  • Commuting
  • Urban sprawl
  • Ecological impact
  • Economic stimulation
  • Public transportation infrastructure
  • Renewable energy
  • Air quality
  • Environmental degradation
  • Alternative transportation
  • Car dependency
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