SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD SPEND THEIR FREE TIME WITH FAMILY, RATHER THAN GO TO ENTERTAINMENT ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. SOME DISAGREE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINIONS.

#people #time #entertainment #activities #house #disagree

In the recent times, it has been observed that youngsters hardly spend any

time

with their families. Most of their free

time

is spent outside homes in parties or other fun activities. Though these extra-curricular activities are as essential as other things, their free

time

should be divided wisely and a major portion of it should be spent with the family. Young people are at a risk of being mislead. Their minds are less firm and their

morales

motivation based on ideas of right and wrong

morals

are not as strong. Spending excessive

time

out of the house

Suggestion

during

parties or in wrong company can

encourge

contribute to the progress or growth of

encourage

them to develop bad habits. Some people get involved in crimes and drugs.

Therefore

, people strongly advocate to monitor activities of youngsters. Some go as far as to put

exessive

beyond normal limits

excessive

restraints on their free times and strict orders are given to spend

time

at home.

However

, an extremist approach in

this

respect will not be fruitful as teenage children are less likely to respond to strict rules. Another school of thought encourages youngsters to get involved in as much extra-curricular activities as possible. As most of the

time

is spent at home, people believe that the free

time

should be spent outside

home

Suggestion

the home

. It is said that young people are energetic and they should enjoy their

time

to the fullest.

Moreover

entertainment activities

Accept comma addition

entertainment, activities

like watching movies, going to parties or games stimulate creativity in young people and broaden their horizons. Social interactions with their friends and colleagues enhance their social abilities and shape them to be better individuals. What I propose is - a balanced

time

-table covering all social as well as family

time

should be devised where once a week family bonding

activities

Suggestion

activity

must be included.

This

may include any form of sports like fishing, playing cricket or tennis. Frequent sight seeing and picnics must be planned in which youngsters can rejoice and enjoy

time

with their family.

This

time

can be used to strengthen family values and increase love between the members and children can connect on a better level with their parents.

Similarly

time

should be allocated to fun

activites

any specific behavior

activities

with friends and colleagues where youngsters can learn mutual respect and practice living like adults without parental supervision. To recapitulate, both ideas are valid;

however

a balance of free

time

activities for a youngster is vital. Spending

time

with the family is as important as entertainment activities. I strongly believe that if fun activities are inculcated in the family

time

, youngsters are likely to devote their free

time

to family.

Submitted by aghoshegulchaudhary on Thu Aug 15 2019

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

420 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT YOUNG PEOPLE SHOULD SPEND THEIR FREE TIME WITH FAMILY, RATHER THAN GO TO ENTERTAINMENT ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE THE HOUSE. SOME DISAGREE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINIONS.

Fully explain your ideas

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some governments provide financial assistance for retired, unemployed and disabled citizens. In other countries, families provide support for these people. Discuss both systems and give your opinion about which one you think is better.

Band 6+: At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

International tourism is now more common than ever before. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. what are your opinion on this?

People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday life. What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?