IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

TOPIC 12: Some businesses find that new employees finishing education lack basic interpersonal ability such as working with others as a part of a team. What do you think are the causes of this problem? How to solve this problem?

#topic #businesses #employees #education #lack #ability #part #team
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Organizations play an important role in shaping career of the fresh graduates. As soon as the university finishes, it is
top priority
Suggestion
the top priority
a top priority
 of the graduate to get hired by a well reputed company. Since, they just step
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
 the professional life, they are not aware of the organizational world and it gives a problem to the company. In recent times, companies have started facing issues with the behaviours of the new employees. Working in a
team
 is very important to increase productivity of
work
 and working in a
team
also
 creates problems due to the behaviour of individuals. One of the main reasons is that people have become less tolerant now. They do not tolerate dominance of
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 employee.
On the other hand
, there are employees who do not own their
work
 while working in a
team
 and it is easy for them to put
blame
Suggestion
the blame
 on others. While working in
team
Suggestion
a team
teams
the team
 they are dependant on each other and expecting others to put more effort and energy.
Moreover
, employees bring their personal issues to
work
 which
effects
have an effect upon
affects
 their mood
team
work
 is
suffered
Suggestion
suffering
.
Team
work
 can be
imporoved
made more desirable or valuable or profitable; especially made ready for use or marketing
improved
 by giving a comfortable and easy working
environement
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
. Delegation of
work
 is very important to make decisions while working in a
team
.
Moreover
, trainings should be organized to improve human
behivour
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 and handling pressure during peak time.
Also
, it is very important to respect each other as a human being as well as a colleague. I believe that if every employee owns his workplace and
work
 with keeping the interest of
orgainzation
Suggestion
the organization
organization
organizations
organisations
 in his
mind
Accept comma addition
mind, then
then
 there will be less conflicts and working
enviornoment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
environments
 will be healthy.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: