In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeeds or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success

People have different views about the link between the concept of equality and individual accomplishment. In my opinion, both runs parallel as every individual gets a change to success in egalitarian societies irrespective of their gender or wealth,

for instance

. Societies who provide equal opportunities to its citizens

such

as, educational rights, will produce more achievers because, education is the base to achieve anything, and the place where people can get basic as well as higher studies free of cost will have higher chances to accomplish their goals. In a contrary, in a non egalitarian society rich people can only get higher education,

therefore

the probability of success proportional to the overall population reduces.

For example

, in America where every individual has a right to get qualified have more successful population. The relationship between the equal rights and achievement can

also

be explained by an example of a society with gender equality. A society which gives equal opportunities to all of its people irrespective of their gender will have a higher success ratio as compared to the societies who discriminate between them.

Moreover

, the number of people participating is proportional to the number of achievers so in societies providing equal chances for everyone results in more chances of victory. In conclusion, both personal achievement and similar rights are directly proportional and the societies which offer the formal have higher successful population.

Submitted by cryptoinvest555 on Fri Aug 16 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you have been working. In your letter: describe the work you have been doing explain why you can no longer do this work recommend another person who is interested in the work
Hope you are doing well.
5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believ that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.
While some people take the view that experts like doctors and engineers must work in the country where they learned, others believe that they should go to the desired countries they want. In my opinion, it is better for the individuals to work freely as they have rights to manage their prospective careers.
6.5
band
Some people think governments should make university education free, but others think students should pay fees by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
By all means, education should be free. The purpose of learning itself has already paid for the cost. The concept of learning can be transformed if we change the beginning. When we pay for a course upfront, the lecturer is obligated to teach and pass the pupils. Conversely, the pupils have the right to be made understand and to graduate.
4.5
band
n many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Over the past decade, there has been tremendous advancement in technology in various sectors of the economy with the effects being both positive and negative.Some people argue that these developments have widened the gap between the wealthy and those with low incomes in the society.
8
band
Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some argued that vocational training should be encouraged for enrollment to produce sufficient future competent labourers in the context of an increasing number of people taking part in the academic field. I completely agree with this opinion, as I believe qualified researchers and workers are equally important and their numbers should be balanced.

Fully explain your ideas

Write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you have been working. In your letter: describe the work you have been doing explain why you can no longer do this work recommend another person who is interested in the work

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believ that they should be free to work in another country if they wish.

Some people think governments should make university education free, but others think students should pay fees by themselves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

n many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people go to university for academic study. More people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?