In recent years, there has been growing interest in the relationship between equality and personal achievement. Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeeds or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success?

#years #interest #relationship #equality #achievement #people #individuals #societies #levels #merits #success

People have different views about the link between the concept of equality and individual accomplishment. In my opinion, both runs parallel as every individual gets a change to success in egalitarian societies irrespective of their gender or wealth,

for instance

. Societies who provide equal opportunities to its citizens

such

as, educational rights, will produce more achievers because, education is the base to achieve anything, and the place where people can get basic as well as higher studies free of cost will have higher chances to accomplish their goals. In a contrary, in a non egalitarian society rich people can only get higher education,

therefore

the probability of success proportional to the overall population reduces.

For example

, in America where every individual has a right to get qualified have more successful population. The relationship between the equal rights and achievement can

also

be explained by an example of a society with gender equality. A society which gives equal opportunities to all of its people irrespective of their gender will have a higher success ratio as compared to the societies who discriminate between them.

Moreover

, the number of people participating is proportional to the number of achievers so in societies providing equal chances for everyone results in more chances of victory. In conclusion, both personal achievement and similar rights are directly proportional and the societies which offer the formal have higher successful population.

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Some businesses find that their new employees lack basic interpersonal skills such as cooperative skills. What are the causes? Suggest possible solutions. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience You should write at least 250 words.

Learning a new language at an early age has both advantages and disadvantages. Discuss

The use of social media, e.g. Facebook and Twitter, is replacing face-to-face contact for many people in everyday life. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Differences between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays people are watching the same films, fashion brands, advertisements and TV channels. To what extent do the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?