The percentage of overweight children in the western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years.Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend.

The rate of childhood obesity in the civilized world has been elevated by close to 20% in the
last
decade. It is a fact that the human body requires a balanced diet
:
Accept space
:
which is the most important aspect of building up the needed day to day activities of the systemic growth of each person.
however
Suggestion
However
, consuming an unhealthy portion can cause various health problems like
overweight which
Accept comma addition
overweight, which
is one of the leading inclination.
For example
, many children nowadays rely on fast food or pre-prepared meals, these
often contains
Suggestion
often contain
too much fat
,
Accept space
,
salt and sugar
;
Accept space
;
this
is because they are cheap to buy
,
Accept space
,
easy to prepare and above all readily available even on home delivery.Many young people have grown on
this
convenience. The mentioned causes
has
Suggestion
have
impacts on the well being of the consumers.The foremost adverse effect seen is on the cardiovascular system (heart)
,
Accept space
,
giving rise to disease condition like elevated blood pressure, aneurysm and others which in turn can cause life threatening situations like cardiac arrest.
Similarly
, another repercussion is
diabetes which
Accept comma addition
diabetes, which
has no
cure but
Accept comma addition
cure, but
managed
through out
all the way through
throughout
the
person
Suggestion
person's
existence and can lead to organ failure if there is no drug compliance as there must be usage of every day medications.
Thus
,
Accept space
,
to conclude the topic
,
Accept space
,
it can be
finally
commented that consuming unhealthy diets like fast food or pre-prepared meals, has a bad
effects
Suggestion
effect
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
, we should make it a duty to be conscious with what children eats and home made substances from natural resources will be of great help.
Submitted by P on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: