IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Compare and contrast Some people say that it is important to keep your home and your workplace tidy, with everything organized and in the correct place.

#contrast #people #home #workplace #place
The following will compare and contrast the data in the chart entitled “Percentage of Australian men and women doing regular physical
activity
: 2010” where it can be seen that the general trend for both men and women is parabolic but
inverse
Suggestion
the inverse
.
That is
, women did less exercise in their youth, increased the amount during middle
age
 and
then
 did less again in later years while the male trend is the opposite.
To begin
, while the percentage of
active men
Suggestion
the active men
 in the 15-24
age
 range fell roughly 10 points from 52.8 to 42.2 in the 25- 35 range, the number
in
Suggestion
of
 women in the same
age
 groups rose just over 1 point from 47.7, which was lower than males, to 48.9, overtaking males of the
second
 group.
Secondly
, while the
rate
 of
activity
 for males continued to fall to its lowest overall level in the 35-45
age
 group, womenʼs
participation
 grew again to 52.5%, roughly 15% higher than the males of the same
age
.
Thirdly
, in the 45-55 group, females reached
peak
Suggestion
a peak participation
participation
 at 53.3
% while
Accept comma addition
%, while
males
Suggestion
male
activity
 reversed and rose to 43.1, about 10% lower than the women. Fourthly, in the 55-64
age
 range, womenʼs
participation
 has declined slightly to 53
percent while
Accept comma addition
percent, while
 the male
rate
 has increased 2 points to 45.1%.
Finally at
Accept comma addition
Finally, at
ages
Suggestion
age
 65 plus, male and female rates of physical
activity
 are nearly equal with womenʼs, which fell six points to 47.1, its lowest overall level, though still slightly higher than the
rate
 for men at 46.7;
this
 genderʼs
second
 highest
rate
 of
participation
 overall.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: