Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

Some would argue that it is unfair to set a common age of
retirement
for every worker of any occupation. They say that people who follow certain careers should be allowed to retire and given pensions sooner than others. I strongly agree with
this
idea as some jobs damage individuals’
health
at early ages, and
retirement
before 65 is beneficial to those who work in harsh conditions. Several occupations are damaging to the physical
health
of workers at very early ages,
thus
, they deserve to retire before a set age. Normally, the effect of aging on people’s productivity at work starts at 65;
however
, in several occupations,
this
process begins at around mid-40s.
Therefore
, workers who become ineffective because of their jobs should be allowed to retire early if they want.
For example
, a study by Harvard University showed that most bankers became unqualified for their jobs at the age of 65 whereas constructors had signs of poor physical
health
after 45. Individuals who are regularly exposed to dirt and toxic chemicals in bad working conditions will benefit from early
retirement
. When these people are separated from their workplaces, they will stop breathing polluted air and eating contaminated foods, and it will give their bodies time to recover and become healthy again.
Furthermore
, they will be able to treat the diseases that they have already got during their work.
For instance
, gold miners in Kenya are estimated to have very high amounts of Mercury in their blood, and they all have a high risk of having cancers when they reach 60. In conclusion, workers
of
Suggestion
in
certain occupations should get pensions and
retirement
at early ages because their
health
is being harmed at mid-40s compared to normal office workers, and early
retirement
will benefit those who expose to the toxic working environment every day.
Submitted by Thanh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: