IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

The bar charts below show how often people in three age groups did various different evening activities in 1980 and 2010.

The bar charts below show how often people in three age groups did various different evening activities in 1980 and 2010.
#bar #show #people #three #age #groups #activities
the bar charts give
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information on the different activities in the evening and the frequency of that one per month among various groups between 1980 and 2010. It can
be clearly see
Change the verb form
be clearly seen
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 that
Correct article usage
the over
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over 50
Add a hyphen
over-50
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aged
Replace the word
age
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group
Change to a plural noun
groups
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 spent most of their time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visiting family and
friends
while
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
online at home covered the least activity that
people
 enjoyed Taking a closer look
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bar chart in 1980, the over 50 years group set aside for visiting family and
friends
for
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apply
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more than ten
time
Change to a plural noun
times
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 a month which
were
Change the verb form
was
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 more than other groups. At that moment, eating out
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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occupied
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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second
 place.
Moreover
, eating out and visiting family and
friends
 had the same patterns that
people
 both lobed doing these activities.During that time,
people
 from 26-50 years liked going to movies and shopping and they went there
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more than two times and once per month respectively. Turning to 2010, it showed a different trend, the online at home became the most attractive activity in the evening.
In addition
, visiting family and
friends
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 not popular during the period of 20 years and
people
 usually did not do it
Submitted by thao58947 on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words friends, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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