IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#companies #employees #work #position #age #opportunities #generation
There is no doubt that the retirement
age
 of people in an organisation is a controversial issue. It is argued that companies should relieve workers who are 55 years in order to give room for the younger generation. Personally, I completely agree with
this
 viewpoint because of its many benefits. In
this
 era, it is important for organisations to retire older people of 55 years and above to give room for younger ones who have modern ideas that can push a company forward.
This
 is because, older people may still practice ancient routines which might not appeal to the public.
Furthermore
, employing younger people will in fact encourage a balanced population of young and middle ages, which is important to drive performance and diversity in the workplace.
For instance
, a recent survey carried out in Access bank shows that most of the innovative ideas brought forward were made by younger people within the
age
 bracket of 25 to 30. An argument brought forward by critics is that relieving people based on their ages are an unfair practice because some elderly people might still need to earn more money to cater for their family.
However
, I would argue that
at
Suggestion
in
 the 55 years old, many adults should have saved money enough to sustain them.
In addition
, retiring people at
this
age
 will give them ample time to rest and spend time with family. To illustrate, my grandfather retired from Guaranty bank at 55 years old,
this
 afforded him with enough time to send with his grandkids.
Finally
, retiring older people in a company will reduce the number of unemployed youths in the society.
For instance
, a local survey reveals that many people will not retire if there was no
age
-limit, and
this
 could hinder the employment of young adults. In conclusion, I strongly agree that there should be an
age
 limit to retirement of people in an organisation to give younger people a chance to showcase their ideas and to reduce job unemployment.
Submitted by Prisca on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: