IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Art and music are considered some of the fundamental elements of all societies. Do you think art and music still have a place in today’s modern world of technology? Should children spend more time learning art and music at school?

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Art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 requires a unique talent
.
Accept space
.
However
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 are required in the current
mordern
belonging to the modern era; since the Middle Ages
modern
Modern
 technology
,
Accept space
,
 as it allows human to reduce
stress
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.
This
Linking Words
eassy
an analytic or interpretive literary composition
essay
 will discuss the necessity of
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
 on
children
Suggestion
child's
children's
 school
,
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,
 as it will enhance the creativity and
confidence
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 among them.
To begin
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 with
,
Accept space
,
music
Use synonyms
 reduces the
stress
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 and relaxes people
.
Accept space
.
 In recent times
,
Accept space
,
 people are suffering from the
stress
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 and blood pressure through busy lifestyle
,
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,
 but
music
Use synonyms
 reduces
stress
Use synonyms
 and relaxes them. In
addtion
a component that is added to something to improve it
addition
 to that,
art
Use synonyms
 is mandatory where it protects and preserves the
humans
Suggestion
human's
human
 identity
.
Accept space
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
parliment
a legislative assembly in certain countries
parliament
 of
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
 was built by considering the countries cultural
,
Accept space
,
 where
art
Use synonyms
 helped to transfer the culture to buildings and paintings
.
Accept space
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 and
music
Use synonyms
enhances
Suggestion
enhance
 the creativity and
confidence
Use synonyms
 among children.
Art
Use synonyms
 requires creativity
,
Accept space
,
 where it is learnt by children as a fun which will be
ultilized
put to use
utilized
utilised
 in science
,
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,
 maths and others.
Moreover
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,
Music
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 allows children to
concerntrate
make denser, stronger, or purer
concentrate
 and gain
confidence
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.
Accept space
.
 To illustrate
,
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,
 staged musical performance allows children to face the crowd and gain
confidence
Use synonyms
.
Accept space
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • cognitive abilities
  • academic performance
  • self-expression
  • therapeutic
  • cultural awareness
  • globalized world
  • diverse cultures
  • technological advancements
  • interactive tools
  • accessible
  • engaging
  • STEM subjects
  • well-rounded individuals
  • innovative
  • problem-solvers
What to do next:
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